Religion and Ethics Forum

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: floo on March 31, 2016, 11:43:19 AM

Title: Your date of death
Post by: floo on March 31, 2016, 11:43:19 AM
Just supposing it was possible to predict exactly when you were going to die, would you want to know, if you had a choice in the matter?

I definitely wouldn't want to know.

Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Brownie on March 31, 2016, 11:50:20 AM
I really don't know floo.  I wouldn't mind a vague idea of when I am going to pop my clogs but perhaps not the precise date.  I've always said I'd like some warning so I could put some finishing touches to my (very few) personal affairs  :D.  This is a difficult one.  It makes me wonder, if a person really did know they were going to die, say next Tuesday, on Tuesday they probably wouldn't believe it!  Anyway we are not likely to know exactly, even those with serious illnesses aren't precise, the doctors tend to say, ''Weeks rather than months'' or the like.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: floo on March 31, 2016, 11:52:44 AM
I am a terrible hypochondriac as it is, so would not be able to think about anything else if I knew about it.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: floo on March 31, 2016, 11:55:44 AM
Off topic, but I have just seen Ronnie Corbett has died.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Hope on March 31, 2016, 12:01:38 PM
whilst I wouldn't want to know, I already have a date that I want to pass in mind.  My father died on Sept 12th 1982, from a massive heart-attack, aged 60 years and 7 months.  Since then, I have been diagnosed as having a very high level of something called Lipo-protein(a) [1506 parts per whatever, as opposed to the accepted 'safe range' of 0-300].  Since its discovery in 1985, it has been deemed to be an inherited condition, and was very possibly the cause of Dad's heart-attack.  It is a LDL (bad cholesterol)-like particle for which there is currently no treatment.  I had my 60th yesterday, so if I can get to 1st November 2016, I will have lived longer than Dad.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Shaker on March 31, 2016, 12:08:01 PM
My granddad knew the exact date of his death - the judge told him.

Yes, personally I would like to know. To die without having settled your affairs leaves behind a tremendous amount of work and at least sometimes a huge headache that others have to deal with. I wouldn't willingly inflict that on anybody. To a very large extent I feel that I've stripped down and streamlined my life and put my affairs in order already, but knowing I was going to die at some specific time would allow me to go over everything again.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: floo on March 31, 2016, 12:10:36 PM
whilst I wouldn't want to know, I already have a date that I want to pass in mind.  My father died on Sept 12th 1982, from a massive heart-attack, aged 60 years and 7 months.  Since then, I have been diagnosed as having a very high level of something called Lipo-protein(a) [1506 parts per whatever, as opposed to the accepted 'safe range' of 0-300].  Since its discovery in 1985, it has been deemed to be an inherited condition, and was very possibly the cause of Dad's heart-attack.  It is a LDL (bad cholesterol)-like particle for which there is currently no treatment.  I had my 60th yesterday, so if I can get to 1st November 2016, I will have lived longer than Dad.

Happy Birthday for yesterday. :)

In the 31 years since the discovery of your condition I am sure a lot has been done to counter it, so don't write yourself off.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Udayana on March 31, 2016, 12:14:49 PM
I think it would be very useful. Unlike Shaker, for me it would mean that I could put off sorting out my affairs until the last minute!
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Leonard James on March 31, 2016, 12:22:00 PM
My granddad knew the exact date of his death - the judge told him.


Oh gawd, Shakes! What did he do to get sentenced? Or am I being too nosey?  :(
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: floo on March 31, 2016, 12:23:45 PM
Oh gawd, Shakes! What did he do to get sentenced? Or am I being too nosey?  :(

I didn't like to ask.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Shaker on March 31, 2016, 12:25:46 PM
Oh gawd, Shakes! What did he do to get sentenced? Or am I being too nosey?  :(
He was convicted for something he didn't do.

He didn't start the getaway car quickly enough ;)
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Leonard James on March 31, 2016, 12:26:19 PM
I didn't like to ask.

I think we are being naive, and he was just joking.

I hope.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Brownie on March 31, 2016, 12:26:34 PM
Udayana, you made me laugh as I am like that, I could procrastinate for England!

Hope, I agree with floo.  You will almost certainly live a good many years longer than your father, especially if you look after yourself.

I think Shaker may have been joking!
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Leonard James on March 31, 2016, 12:27:59 PM
He was convicted for something he didn't do.

He didn't start the getaway car quickly enough ;)

?????

Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Shaker on March 31, 2016, 12:31:22 PM
Bloody hell - talk about a tough crowd!
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Walt Zingmatilder on March 31, 2016, 12:32:58 PM
whilst I wouldn't want to know, I already have a date that I want to pass in mind.  My father died on Sept 12th 1982, from a massive heart-attack, aged 60 years and 7 months.  Since then, I have been diagnosed as having a very high level of something called Lipo-protein(a) [1506 parts per whatever, as opposed to the accepted 'safe range' of 0-300].  Since its discovery in 1985, it has been deemed to be an inherited condition, and was very possibly the cause of Dad's heart-attack.  It is a LDL (bad cholesterol)-like particle for which there is currently no treatment.  I had my 60th yesterday, so if I can get to 1st November 2016, I will have lived longer than Dad.
Happy Birthday Hope.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Brownie on March 31, 2016, 12:42:59 PM
Floo, Ronnie Corbett had a good innings, dying at 85.  Well done Ron.  He had a very big wife who survives him.  She was the one who had had a serious illness, her heart I think.  They were so happy, she will miss him.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Gonnagle on March 31, 2016, 01:13:15 PM
Dear Leonard,

I can only assume it is an age issue, you need to retune your brain waves to radio Shaker, course he's bloody joking :P

Gonnagle.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Leonard James on March 31, 2016, 01:28:53 PM
Dear Leonard,

I can only assume it is an age issue, you need to retune your brain waves to radio Shaker, course he's bloody joking :P

Gonnagle.

I'm glad to hear it. I'm afraid the retuning is out ... they don't make the parts for such old models any more. ;D
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Rhiannon on March 31, 2016, 02:28:24 PM
Coming back to the OP, I don't think I would like to know. If it were imminent then I would be distraught at the wasted time; if it were a long time in the distance I'd fritter the time away thinking I had loads of it left til it was too late - a bit like doing the Christmas shopping. Instead I try to be mindful that each day could not only be my last but the last of my nears and dears, and to not waste an opportunity to love life and love them.

I can't really set my affairs in too much order as I'm between legal states. If I could plan my own exit one thing I'd do would be to have a cardboard coffin and keep in in the house for people to write stuff on, a bit like they do on plaster casts. And I'd collage it too, and stick feathers and leaves and dried flowers on it. And paint it. And make it smell of lemons and rosemary. I've asked for a woodland burial so a big party with loud music under the stars will see me out nicely.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Enki on March 31, 2016, 02:29:32 PM
Yesterday I attended a funeral of a friend who died suddenly of a heart attack. Her husband, also a dear friend, is devastated, indeed still in a state of shock. The anguish on his face during the funeral service was heart breaking to see.

I also have another friend whose husband has suffered severe brain damage owing to a massive blood clot in part of his brain. He has been getting steadily worse during the past year, and on the same day that I attended the funeral, he has finally gone into a nursing home which particularly deals with the brain damaged members of our society because she can no longer handle the severity of his symptoms. His wife has described the last year as some sort of hell, a period which she likens to a prolonged bereavement without him actually dying. Both my wife and I think that he will very likely die within the next year.

Both these people were/are of a similar age to myself.

In both these cases I am very much aware of how a death affects those who love them. I haven't a clue as to whether a prolonged death is any worse than a sudden death, both can bring devastation to their loved ones. I know that this does not really answer Floo's question, but I can only hope that my death, whenever it comes, may happen in such a way that it creates the least anguish to my loved ones. 
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: floo on March 31, 2016, 02:30:51 PM
I'm glad to hear it. I'm afraid the retuning is out ... they don't make the parts for such old models any more. ;D

Yours seems to be in pretty good condition. :)
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Rhiannon on March 31, 2016, 02:31:04 PM
I'm sorry, enki.  :(

Very much agree with your last sentence.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Shaker on March 31, 2016, 02:41:46 PM
Keep short accounts would seem to be the take-home message here.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Hope on March 31, 2016, 03:02:02 PM
In both these cases I am very much aware of how a death affects those who love them. I haven't a clue as to whether a prolonged death is any worse than a sudden death, both can bring devastation to their loved ones. I know that this does not really answer Floo's question, but I can only hope that my death, whenever it comes, may happen in such a way that it creates the least anguish to my loved ones.
A friend of ours has lost 3 members of ther family within the last 2 years.  One died with absolutely no warning, one died after a 4 or 5 week illness and the 3rd died after about 2 years of illness.  Our friend has said that of the three scenarios, she preferred the middle one, because there was time to plan but too little time to fret.  I appreciated her honesty when she said that to us, and her positive approach.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Brownie on March 31, 2016, 03:03:24 PM
Definitely Shaker. Would that everyone felt that way - I'm sure most do but don't seem to be able to put it into practice (I sincerely hope I do).

I also echo Rhiannon's sentiments in her last post, to Enki.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: SqueakyVoice on April 01, 2016, 09:13:00 AM
Bloody hell - talk about a tough crowd!
Shakes,
Two questions;
were you feeling a bit funny before you contributed to this thread?
did your manager offer any advice?
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: L.A. on April 02, 2016, 01:07:17 PM
Just supposing it was possible to predict exactly when you were going to die, would you want to know, if you had a choice in the matter?

I definitely wouldn't want to know.

We can all find out  :)

http://www.deathclock.com/

Apparently, I'm going to die on Friday the 3rd of Febuary 2023; I've put it in my Google Calendar so that I don't forget.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: SusanDoris on April 19, 2016, 04:53:32 PM
Adding to this thread rather than starting a new topic!

On the way home (from the gym) this morning, I called in to the Funeral Directors' office. I'd been thinking about doing this for a while, since reading about Jessica Mitford's book on American funeral costs. This book was, it seems, a best-seller for years, not just months! She challenged the enormous costs which people were being encouraged to pay for all sorts of things that really were not necessary! Also, I heard something recently about embalming, so I thought I'd make some enquiries.

I started by saying that they had done both my parents' funerals and that I'd ask my sons to go to them too. when the time comes. The answers to my questions were - that they do not embalm except for particular, unusual circumstances, that the most important need fortheir services was the fridge space, that as my sons are not, as we have agreed,  going to have anybody at the crematorium and that there is not going to be any kind of gathering, they could choose the first appt in the morning, thus ensuring that this could be arranged within a week, that if I die at home, i.e. not in hospital, and a coroner has to be called on, this is cheaper, because the coroner is paid for by local Authorities or something.

Well, it's important to be practical and to know these things, I think! :D

My sons will arrange a venue with drinks and sandwiches on a suitable date in case anyone wants to take part in such a wake.


I hasten to add that  I shall do my best to put the occasion off for as long as possible! :)
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Brownie on April 19, 2016, 06:02:30 PM
So I should hope Susan!

You've done something very sensible, I might do the same.  Having sorted it out we can forget about it.
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: L.A. on April 20, 2016, 06:56:00 AM
Adding to this thread rather than starting a new topic!

On the way home (from the gym) this morning, I called in to the Funeral Directors' office. I'd been thinking about doing this for a while, since reading about Jessica Mitford's book on American funeral costs. This book was, it seems, a best-seller for years, not just months! She challenged the enormous costs which people were being encouraged to pay for all sorts of things that really were not necessary! Also, I heard something recently about embalming, so I thought I'd make some enquiries.

I started by saying that they had done both my parents' funerals and that I'd ask my sons to go to them too. when the time comes. The answers to my questions were - that they do not embalm except for particular, unusual circumstances, that the most important need fortheir services was the fridge space, that as my sons are not, as we have agreed,  going to have anybody at the crematorium and that there is not going to be any kind of gathering, they could choose the first appt in the morning, thus ensuring that this could be arranged within a week, that if I die at home, i.e. not in hospital, and a coroner has to be called on, this is cheaper, because the coroner is paid for by local Authorities or something.

Well, it's important to be practical and to know these things, I think! :D

My sons will arrange a venue with drinks and sandwiches on a suitable date in case anyone wants to take part in such a wake.


I hasten to add that  I shall do my best to put the occasion off for as long as possible! :)

Hi Susan,

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty is a fascinating read on the subject, be it from an American perspective. She is also a founder member of the Order of the Good death:

http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/members/your-mortician

and does a number of off-beat videos on utube:

 https://www.youtube.com/user/OrderoftheGoodDeath
Title: Re: Your date of death
Post by: Bubbles on April 20, 2016, 07:01:35 AM
My granddad knew the exact date of his death - the judge told him.

Yes, personally I would like to know. To die without having settled your affairs leaves behind a tremendous amount of work and at least sometimes a huge headache that others have to deal with. I wouldn't willingly inflict that on anybody. To a very large extent I feel that I've stripped down and streamlined my life and put my affairs in order already, but knowing I was going to die at some specific time would allow me to go over everything again.

 :o

What did they do! Hang him?