Religion and Ethics Forum
Religion and Ethics Discussion => Christian Topic => Topic started by: Roses on September 19, 2019, 03:43:59 PM
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Assuming god exists and you could ask it one question, what would it be?
I would ask it why it isn't in plain sight so there could be no shadow of doubt of its existence, rather than hiding away, and making it a matter of faith.
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I'd ask 'why so shy'?
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Assuming god exists and you could ask it one question, what would it be?
I would ask it why it isn't in plain sight so there could be no shadow of doubt of its existence, rather than hiding away, and making it a matter of faith.
I don't know that I could phrase it any better than Stephen Fry did - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-suvkwNYSQo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-suvkwNYSQo)
What's that all about?
O.
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God why would you help someone find their lost keys as Spud implied on another thread, but not help people who are in mortal danger?
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God why would you help someone find their lost keys as Spud implied on another thread, but not help people who are in mortal danger?
keys are important,humans not so much (numbers have got out of hand).
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keys are important,humans not so much (numbers have got out of hand).
What if we gave all the humans keys?
O.
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What if we gave all the humans keys?
O.
then the number of keys would have got out of hand too !
God would probably have to perform a "reset"
He wouldn't find me though , I'd lock myself away in a secret place until it was all over 👍👽
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Why did you die for me?
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Why did you die for me?
No god died for you, that was supposedly down to that guy, Jesus, who was a mere human just like the rest of us and far from perfect.
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You gave yourself fo me because of love.
Why do you love me, Lord?
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You gave yourself fo me because of love.
Why do you love me, Lord?
well I hope the pair of you got a room 😱😱
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Why did you die for me?
I think we are assuming for the purpose of the thread that God isn't dead.
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God used to post here, though not for the last 18 months or so, and is still a member.
Who knows, what with God being all the omnis' etc, it may look in and provide an answer (or tell us to get lost, or worse).
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Why am I asking a question of a seemingly non existent entity which doesn't seem to impinge upon my life in any relevant or significant way?
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You gave yourself fo me because of love.
Why do you love me, Lord?
https://cdn.emojidex.com/emoji/seal/puke.png?1417138469
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God used to post here, though not for the last 18 months or so, and is still a member.
Who knows, what with God being all the omnis' etc, it may look in and provide an answer (or tell us to get lost, or worse).
Hello Gordon, this is Mercury speaking and I am in charge of communication. Your questions are important to us Gods. Please state the nature of your enquiry and I shall refer it to the appropriate deity for a reply.
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Hello Gordon, this is Mercury speaking and I am in charge of communication. Your questions are important to us Gods. Please state the nature of your enquiry and I shall refer it to the appropriate deity for a reply.
;D
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Hello Gordon, this is Mercury speaking and I am in charge of communication. Your questions are important to us Gods. Please state the nature of your enquiry and I shall refer it to the appropriate deity for a reply.
Why thank you Mercury: could you please ask the Christian God, since I seem to be in the catchment area for that one, why I've been kept on hold these last 67 years without out even an acknowledgement that I am there (and, by the way, the Christian-themed background muzak is shite).
Thanking you, in anticipation.
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https://cdn.emojidex.com/emoji/seal/puke.png?1417138469
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f38gW5Jm-Hs&app=desktop
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LR,
Assuming god exists and you could ask it one question, what would it be?
Where the hell have you been?
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well I hope the pair of you got a room 😱😱
Best reply of the day Walt, equally as sensible as both the posts you're referring to.
It always amazes me how so many people manage to somehow allow themselves to be indoctrinated and I suppose there'll always be the odd few that become overwhelmed.
Regards, ippy.
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Best reply of the day Walt, equally as sensible as both the posts you're referring to.
It always amazes me how so many people manage to somehow allow themselves to be indoctrinated and I suppose there'll always be the odd few that become overwhelmed.
Regards, ippy.
One could argue that you have been indoctrinated as you desire that the UK leaves the EU. ;D
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Why thank you Mercury: could you please ask the Christian God, since I seem to be in the catchment area for that one, why I've been kept on hold these last 67 years without out even an acknowledgement that I am there (and, by the way, the Christian-themed background muzak is shite).
Thanking you, in anticipation.
Thank you for your enquiry. We would like to inform you that the Christian God is one of stillness and silence and there is no conventional means of communicating. Not much fun is it. Now we, of the collective, have a much better time. In fact Bacchus said, if you are one of the Gay Gordons and perform the ritual dance under that name and imbibe wine and whisky in his name, he will personally see to it that you are overcome with such ecstasy that you will forget your 67 years.
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ekim,
Thank you for your enquiry. We would like to inform you that the Christian God is one of stillness and silence and there is no conventional means of communicating. Not much fun is it. Now we, of the collective, have a much better time. In fact Bacchus said, if you are one of the Gay Gordons and perform the ritual dance under that name and imbibe wine and whisky in his name, he will personally see to it that you are overcome with such ecstasy that you will forget your 67 years.
Indeed, for is it not also known that those who imbibe such libations to excess will often find themselves head down in the big white telephone intoning His name over and over again?
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Thank you for your enquiry. We would like to inform you that the Christian God is one of stillness and silence and there is no conventional means of communicating. Not much fun is it. Now we, of the collective, have a much better time. In fact Bacchus said, if you are one of the Gay Gordons and perform the ritual dance under that name and imbibe wine and whisky in his name, he will personally see to it that you are overcome with such ecstasy that you will forget your 67 years.
Please thank Bacchus for the offer: I will of course have to discuss the details with an even higher authority, and I expect she will be back from the shops in about a hour. The ecstatic forgetfulness does sound interesting, especially if it can be applied selectively (there are a few things I might like to remember).
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ekim,
Indeed, for is it not also known that those who imbibe such libations to excess will often find themselves head down in the big white telephone intoning His name over and over again?
Hello, Mercury again. Well it sounds like Bacchus but I'm not sure that it is.
I forgot to tell Gordon how Bacchus is trying to modify Christian themed music. If he listens to this he will see the change after 2 minutes in :- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqN9aS2S3L0
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Hello, Mercury again. Well it sounds like Bacchus but I'm not sure that it is.
I forgot to tell Gordon how Bacchus is trying to modify Christian themed music. If he listens to this he will see the change after 2 minutes in :- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqN9aS2S3L0
I did listen: now if Bacchus could arrange for the phone-muzak to be more like this, which has the same title, it would be infinitely (in the divine sense) more tolerable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgPMYQTINNk
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or this? ..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPpd-6X3tEo
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or this? ..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPpd-6X3tEo
No no no - I don't think Bacchus is my kind of chap at all. What I need is a God who would ensure that its phone-muzak included the likes of Tom Waits, Miles Davis, Elvis Costello or Steely Dan.
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One could argue that you have been indoctrinated as you desire that the UK leaves the EU. ;D
One can disagree with you (and me, for that matter) without being indoctrinated, you know!
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One could argue that you have been indoctrinated as you desire that the UK leaves the EU. ;D
Yes right from the start when it was supposed to be the EEC, before it was this indigestible for me ever closer union it now is and yes it is debatable where as there's no evidence, an absolute zero of evidence available to support any of the magical mystical superstition based elements put forward on this particular thread.
I'm certain your preference for remain is sincere but it is as I said, debatable.
Regards, ippy.
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Moderator:
Could we please discuss Brexit in the thread specific to that, and not here.
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God, when I was a child and prayed for your help with a problem which really upset me and caused me nightmares, why did I never have any sign that you were there, let alone helping me? No wonder I lost my faith!
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I think God is redundant now anyway - if I have a question, I can ask Alexa. :)
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Why thank you Mercury: could you please ask the Christian God, since I seem to be in the catchment area for that one, why I've been kept on hold these last 67 years without out even an acknowledgement that I am there (and, by the way, the Christian-themed background muzak is shite).
Thanking you, in anticipation.
I'm the God of everybody, not just Christians. It's a bit like being an MP. Yes, it's true, I was elected. We have a system of One God, One Vote. I am the one God and I have the one vote.
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I think God is redundant now anyway - if I have a question, I can ask Alexa. :)
Actually, that's quite a lucrative subcontract for me.
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Actually, that's quite a lucrative subcontract for me.
Dear God
In the past I have been a very bad person but I want to change and be a good person .
Please give me tonight's Euromillions numbers so I can help lots of unfotunate people (I promise)
Thank you God 👍
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Currently I help more people than you anyway 😡
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Dear God
In the past I have been a very bad person but I want to change and be a good person .
Please give me tonight's Euromillions numbers so I can help lots of unfotunate people (I promise)
Thank you God 👍
If I told everybody who asked me for tonight's Euromillions number what they are going to be, you'd all get £12.57 each. Doesn't seem worth it really, does it.
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If I told everybody who asked me for tonight's Euromillions number what they are going to be, you'd all get £12.57 each. Doesn't seem worth it really, does it.
but I don't care about the others and neither should you , you know, just like normal .
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but I don't care about the others and neither should you , you know, just like normal .
Funnily enough, all the others are saying something similar. Either I give all of you the lottery numbers or I pick one person at random and that person is unlikely to be you.
OK you have persuaded me, I'll do the latter...
... right that's done it. Some lucky person is going to get very rich.
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Dear God
How will Brexit turn out?
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Dear God
How will Brexit turn out?
Isn't that the type of question Captain Kirk used to ask megalomaniac computers who would then self destruct?
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Isn't that the type of question Captain Kirk used to ask megalomaniac computers who would then self destruct?
Indeed - and with associated steam and clanking.
Perhaps God would prefer an easier question, such as 'how long is a piece of string'.
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Indeed - and with associated steam and clanking.
Perhaps God would prefer an easier question, such as 'how long is a piece of string'.
What Is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
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What Is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
I think you might need to be a bit more specific.
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I think you might need to be a bit more specific.
There are 3 swallows in one.
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There are 3 swallows in one.
I was thing more African or European.
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I very rarely ask questions of God but now that God is a member of this forum, I'd like to ask what he thinks of this book series (which I haven't read):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversations_with_God
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8)
I was thing more African or European.
God knew that but answers in mysterious ways
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8) God knew that but answers in mysterious ways
when I was a kid I thought god lived in my older sisters bedroom !
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when I was a kid I thought god lived in my older sisters bedroom !
'And in a way he did'
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'And in a way he did'
i heard my mother shout for him occasionally too when my dad came home from the club on a Saturday night
I do t think he could hear though , he was already in my sisters room ! 😱😇
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Dear God
How will Brexit turn out?
Everything will be all right in the end.
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What Is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
11 metres per second approx (typical European swallow).
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11 metres per second approx (typical European swallow).
I sort of thought that God might answer that one. But then God knew that and determined that I would ask that and it would answer.