Author Topic: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever  (Read 2340 times)

Shaker

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Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« on: January 24, 2016, 10:39:48 PM »
Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

Rhiannon

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2016, 11:06:25 PM »
Can't make the link work on my phone.  :-\

Owlswing

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2016, 11:12:46 PM »
http://goo.gl/Rvc7a8

Yeah, well, it must be hard for head-line writers in the UK when we don't have the gun-culture that allows our yobs to indulge in such drive-bys as are prevalent in the US.
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Rhiannon

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Owlswing

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2016, 01:52:01 AM »
Got it to work elsewhere.  :D

Tomorrow's headline:

Milk delivery man arrested in possession of 24 lethal tubs of chocolate yoghurt!
The Holy Bible, probably the most diabolical work of fiction ever to be visited upon mankind.

An it harm none, do what you will; an it harm some, do what you must!

Sebastian Toe

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2016, 02:35:18 AM »
http://goo.gl/Rvc7a8
I couldn't understand a word of it, it's all Greek to me!
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Shaker

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2016, 04:02:05 AM »
Tomorrow's headline:

Milk delivery man arrested in possession of 24 lethal tubs of chocolate yoghurt!
Well honestly - how dairy ;)

Nothing beats this one though:

http://goo.gl/YNdyz6
« Last Edit: January 25, 2016, 04:05:34 AM by Shaker »
Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

Nearly Sane

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2016, 08:19:15 AM »

This one has the added bonus in the story of t immortal words 'Leave it, Batman'





http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/scottish-rugby-star-dressed-batman-4993741

King Oberon

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2016, 11:38:09 AM »
I liked the link to George Osbournes finger penis  ;D
I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?

Hope

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2016, 12:09:39 PM »
Tomorrow's headline:

Milk delivery man arrested in possession of 24 lethal tubs of chocolate yoghurt!
Was his name called 'Ernie', by any chance?   ;)
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L.A.

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2016, 02:57:14 PM »
Could this be a new I.S. strategy?
Brexit Bar:

Full of nuts but with lots of flakey bits and a bitter aftertaste

bluehillside Retd.

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2016, 06:19:49 PM »
This one has t be up there I'd have thought:

http://www.classicheadlines.co.uk/super-caley-go-ballistic-celtic-are-atrocious/?doing_wp_cron=1453745787.7309489250183105468750

Mind you, when someone started stealing from Ongar public library and the local paper reported it as: "Book Lack in Ongar" some sub-editor earned a pay rise I'd say.
"Don't make me come down there."

God

Nearly Sane

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2016, 06:29:25 PM »
The Super Caley appeared on our it's never been called soccer thread, otherwise known as Attitudes and Behaviours, recently. Meanwhile...



http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/the-most-british-headlines-of-the-modern-age#.nh1PvawAr

Samuel

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Re: Very nearly the best newspaper headline ever
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2016, 12:44:43 PM »
http://goo.gl/Rvc7a8

these radical lichen conservationsists are taking things too far these days
A lot of people don't believe that the loch ness monster exists. Now, I don't know anything about zooology, biology, geology, herpetology, evolutionary theory, evolutionary biology, marine biology, cryptozoology, palaeontology or archaeology... but I think... what if a dinosaur got into the lake?

Sebastian Toe

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"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein