Home Alone

[Hope]

BBC Breakfast this morning ran several slots on the issue of leaving children unattended - be that at home or the car.

Apparently about 510 people were arrested and charged last year for 'neglect' - (FoI request responses from about half the police forces in England and Wales).  In some cases, the case came to court simply to be dismissed as stupid.

What are people's views here on this complex issue?

Should there be better guidelines as to ages when children can be left alone?  Should it continue to be left to the parents' discretion?  Are there certain markers or things that could be talked though - an understanding of which culd be used as pointers to a child's ability to cope alone?

[Bubbles]

BBC Breakfast this morning ran several slots on the issue of leaving children unattended - be that at home or the car.

Apparently about 510 people were arrested and charged last year for 'neglect' - (FoI request responses from about half the police forces in England and Wales).  In some cases, the case came to court simply to be dismissed as stupid.

What are people's views here on this complex issue?

Should there be better guidelines as to ages when children can be left alone?  Should it continue to be left to the parents' discretion?  Are there certain markers or things that could be talked though - an understanding of which culd be used as pointers to a child's ability to cope alone?

It's always a difficult one that, get it wrong and you open yourself up to all sorts of criticism.

Depends on the age, the character of the child, and how long you are leaving them and how far you are going.

There are so many variables. Even if you had guidelines, not all children mature at the same rate.

Some children on the other hand cope with looking after a younger sibling as well.

[Brownie]

Fourteen used to be the age at which a child could be left to look after a younger child.  I doubt that meant at night, probably only for a while during the day but I don't know.  That seems reasonable.

At twelve, a child is deemed old enough to be left at home alone during the day.
I've no idea about being left in cars, I can't see any harm in a fairly big child being left for a very short while if mum or dad nip into a shop as long as the car is outside the shop and not likely to be nicked with the child inside.

They are guidelines only, as Rose says children mature at different ages.  I imagine the rules were formed to prevent parents neglecting young kids but leaving, say, a ten year old alone while a parent, eg, goes to the post box or corner shop, doesn't seem unreasonable and I doubt the police would consider that a crime.

Older children may be a bit scared being left on their own for any length of time, even if they are mature in other ways.

[Shaker]

I've no idea about being left in cars, I can't see any harm in a fairly big child being left for a very short while if mum or dad nip into a shop as long as the car is outside the shop and not likely to be nicked with the child inside.

The rozzers wouldn't agree with you: http://goo.gl/YfJkXl

[Brownie]

He won't do that again in a hurry!  Still it doesn't look as though he'll be prosecuted and the police officer over reacted somewhat, saying the child was screaming.  I doubt he/she would have done so if Laurence Fox hadn't been the father.  Nevertheless, five seems a bit young to be left alone in a car.

[Bubbles]

The rozzers wouldn't agree with you: http://goo.gl/YfJkXl

The objection to leaving small children in a car with locked doors is that it could catch fire.

It happens, not very often, but it can. ( even when the engine is off)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1383429/Children-who-died-in-car-fire-named.html

It must be horrible if you are trying to rescue a small child who cannot get out because of child locks and you can't get in.

Although the policeman in your link may sound slightly hysterical, we don't know if he has ever come across it.

It doesn't occur to a lot of people, when they leave them for a minute or two.

[Bubbles]

He won't do that again in a hurry!  Still it doesn't look as though he'll be prosecuted and the police officer over reacted somewhat, saying the child was screaming.  I doubt he/she would have done so if Laurence Fox hadn't been the father.  Nevertheless, five seems a bit young to be left alone in a car.

A friend of mine used to leave her babies in the car a lot while she popped in a shop., she had the same sort of reaction from a member of the public, that he had from the policeman.

A member of the public threatened to take her children away from her, then and there ( and you can imagine how that went down).

The fear was the one of a fire, and people not being able to get them out.

She did stop doing it after that.

It's a bad idea.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11249091/Father-prosecuted-after-leaving-daughter-in-car-for-ten-minutes.html

[floo]

I was left at home alone at night from the age of eleven to look after my younger sisters, whilst my parents were out. I can't say I enjoyed the experience as our old farmhouse was allegedly 'haunted' by a poltergeist and it was very creepy!

My children were left at home alone from the age of about 12 for a couple of hours or so.

My middle daughter allows her eldest son (14) to keep an eye on his brother (11) when she has to go out during the day, this happens several times a week. The boys are very good about getting on with their school work during her absence. They are home schooled and have more freedom than most kids do these days, which certainly hasn't done them any harm.

[Bubbles]

I used to have school friends 7+ who came home from school and there was no one at home., on a regular basis, mainly because their parents were working. Latch key kids they used to call them.

My mother used to work from home, so was always about.

I think I was about 12 when she started leaving me for a few hours, while visiting relatives, but I think I always could pop next door if there was an issue.


Years ago I think people had more of a support network around them and families tended to be bigger and live closer together.

[Brownie]

The thought of a child being locked in a car on fire is horrific so it is a good idea for that to be illegal.  Stupidly, I hadn't thought of that possibility.  Another possibility is another car smashing into the car with the child in it.  I am sitting here shuddering thinking about it.

I once locked mine in the car by mistake, I just wasn't thinking, and couldn't get the door open.  You can imagine what a state I was in, never mind himself....still upsets me to remember even though it was sorted quickly.  I wish I hadn't reminded myself of that (((  ))).

Floo, I hope you told your parents you weren't happy being left to watch your younger siblings when you were eleven.  It wasn't uncommon in those days and I remember being alone at home before I was twelve while my mum popped out, during the day.

On the whole I think the laws have it right on this issue.

[floo]

The thought of a child being locked in a car on fire is horrific so it is a good idea for that to be illegal.  Stupidly, I hadn't thought of that possibility.  Another possibility is another car smashing into the car with the child in it.  I am sitting here shuddering thinking about it.

I once locked mine in the car by mistake, I just wasn't thinking, and couldn't get the door open.  You can imagine what a state I was in, never mind himself....still upsets me to remember even though it was sorted quickly.  I wish I hadn't reminded myself of that (((  ))).

Floo, I hope you told your parents you weren't happy being left to watch your younger siblings when you were eleven.  It wasn't uncommon in those days and I remember being alone at home before I was twelve while my mum popped out, during the day.

On the whole I think the laws have it right on this issue.

I did mention it but I was told to get on with it, as one would expect in those days! Like when I complained I was being bullied at my first school (4-14). My father's 'wonderful' advice was to hit them harder than they hit me!

[Brownie]

I agree with you about the attitudes of the time regarding bullying, floo ( I don't mean ''Bullying Floo''  ); indeed I remember someone at school who was bullied quite badly and her mother spoke to the teacher about it.  The teacher told her off in no uncertain terms about ''telling tales'' and how she should stick up for herself - in front of the whole class!  It was horrible.

However I'm surprised your parents didn't take your feelings into account regarding babysitting at night.  You were very young to have that responsibility.  As church people they must have had friends who would have babysat.  Anyway, no harm done, it was a long time ago and probably toughened you up a bit.

[floo]

I agree with you about the attitudes of the time regarding bullying, floo ( I don't mean ''Bullying Floo''  ); indeed I remember someone at school who was bullied quite badly and her mother spoke to the teacher about it.  The teacher told her off in no uncertain terms about ''telling tales'' and how she should stick up for herself - in front of the whole class!  It was horrible.

However I'm surprised your parents didn't take your feelings into account regarding babysitting at night.  You were very young to have that responsibility.  As church people they must have had friends who would have babysat.  Anyway, no harm done, it was a long time ago and probably toughened you up a bit.

One was expected to take responsibility at a young age in those days. I had to walk my sister to school from the age of seven, and there weren't any pavements in the country lane between our property and the school. My parents had no idea what we got up to most of the time, so I got myself into many life threatening situations, for which I got thrashed if they ever did find out about my activities!:o
 
My parents didn't have friends at the church as such, they were more acquaintances. However, on the occasion we had babysitters (usually in their late teens/early 20s) many of them were freaked out when my sisters and I described the activity in our 'haunted house', and made us stay up until our parents got home, RESULT!

[Brownie]

When you say ''In those days'', remember, I am the same age!  Yes, we certainly were expected to think in a more grown up, eg understanding things in a grown up way - whilst still being a child and our opinions often disregarded.  Hmph!  I'm glad all that is in the past.

You do make me laugh floo, I can imagine you and your sisters having adventures en route to school - and frightening the babysitters!  Good for you.

[floo]

When you say ''In those days'', remember, I am the same age!  Yes, we certainly were expected to think in a more grown up, eg understanding things in a grown up way - whilst still being a child and our opinions often disregarded.  Hmph!  I'm glad all that is in the past.

You do make me laugh floo, I can imagine you and your sisters having adventures en route to school - and frightening the babysitters!  Good for you.

Not so much adventures on the way to school, but out of school hours I had 'adventures' on my own, which didn't involve my sisters. I liked my own company then as much as now, and although I am much older, I am not always wiser when it comes to doing crazy stunts as my family will tell you!

[OH MY WORLD!]

I left the Safeway store a couple days ago and was sitting at the tables outside the store when I saw a lady in a SUV park. Once she was halfway to the store door, her baby in the SUV started crying, and kept crying until she returned 15 min. later. I was wondering if I should alert the store management or call the cops. But I was near and it was not a hot day so I sat there until that lady came back. I told myself if an employee came along or the cops drove in I would alert them. She did run in and ran back but, well, I don't know. I was never left alone like that. My grandmother told my mom and her sisters that they have no business going anywhere where they can't bring the children along, but grandma grew up in the 1880s.

[Hope]

The objection to leaving small children in a car with locked doors is that it could catch fire.

Can't say I've ever heard anyone refer to fire as an issue.  More often than not, its overheating - be that a child or a pet - especially if the windows were unopened.