Author Topic: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?  (Read 2070 times)

Nearly Sane

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Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« on: May 11, 2017, 04:57:52 PM »

Had a number of friends have dogs die recently. I can see how this could be true.



http://uk.businessinsider.com/why-losing-a-dog-can-be-harder-than-losing-a-relative-or-friend-2017-3?r=US&IR=T

wigginhall

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2017, 05:13:58 PM »
Definitely.  My last dog's death devastated me.   And when my dad's dog died, he was on the phone, broken-hearted.   

I wonder if we're less ambivalent about them - after all, I hated my mum as well as loved her, so her death was partly a relief.

They were the footprints of a gigantic hound!

floo

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2017, 05:16:48 PM »
I am not sentimental about animals, but I certainly had more affinity with all the dogs that we have owned over the years than I had with my paternal grandmother, whom I couldn't stand!

Nearly Sane

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2017, 05:18:44 PM »
Yes, the unquestioning of the relationship seems much closer than the complex web we have with some people. That said there are a number of friends where I would feel sad but we wouldn't have achieved the complexity for it to be ambivalence.

Nearly Sane

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2017, 05:24:01 PM »
I am not sentimental about animals, but I certainly had more affinity with all the dogs that we have owned over the years than I had with my paternal grandmother, whom I couldn't stand!
I think it's simplistic to see people with different relationships to their animals as 'sentimental', there is a pejorative tone that I don't think 8s justified.

floo

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2017, 05:26:55 PM »
I think it's simplistic to see people with different relationships to their animals as 'sentimental', there is a pejorative tone that I don't think 8s justified.

Not with you?

Nearly Sane

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2017, 05:33:40 PM »
Not with you?
Sentimental has the pejorative sense of having or arousing feelings of tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia, typically in an exaggerated and self-indulgent way. I think your post reads as if you have the 'right' relationship with your dogs.

floo

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2017, 05:39:19 PM »
Sentimental has the pejorative sense of having or arousing feelings of tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia, typically in an exaggerated and self-indulgent way. I think your post reads as if you have the 'right' relationship with your dogs.

Our dogs were treated as the species they are, they had to know their place, having said that they were well looked after. It always ended up being my job to walk and feed them etc, even though it was my husband and kids who wanted the dogs. When the last one died in 2002 I put my foot down and said, "NO MORE!"

Nearly Sane

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2017, 05:40:19 PM »
Our dogs were treated as the species they are, they had to know their place, having said that they were well looked after. It always ended up being my job to walk and feed them etc, even though it was my husband and kids who wanted the dogs. When the last one died in 2002 I put my foot down and said, "NO MORE!"
people have said the same about women.

floo

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2017, 05:44:45 PM »
people have said the same about women.

Would you care to make that remark to my face? The church with a tall steeple is very close by I would be more than happy to suspend you from it by your nether regions! ;D ;D ;D

Nearly Sane

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2017, 05:53:35 PM »
Would you care to make that remark to my face? The church with a tall steeple is very close by I would be more than happy to suspend you from it by your nether regions! ;D ;D ;D
That people have said such things, happily. People have said it about Jews and blacks too. The point is that just saying it doesn't give it any validity.

Gordon

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2017, 06:10:30 PM »
There is no doubt in my mind that people can have a significant relationship with an animal they relate to: in my case it would be dogs (not cats), and even if this involved anthropomorphising to an extent such relationships can be important.

We adopted a year old rescue greyhound in 1999 and when in 2014 (he was old for a greyhound) and the inevitable final trip to the vet came around it was emotional for all of us and felt very much like a family bereavement - since that is what it was.

floo

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2017, 06:47:00 PM »
The only time I had ever seen my husband shed any tears, before his illness, is when his first and favourite dog got run over in the early 90s.  He never cried when his parents died, that was much more a huge sigh of relief as they didn't see eye to eye, to put it mildly.

Robbie

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #13 on: May 11, 2017, 06:48:40 PM »
All depends on how you feel about relatives.

I grieved over grandparents and an aunt, als oclose  friend of family.
Parents are still alive, will certainly grieve for them& in-laws.God forbid my sister goes before me,or any of our children!

No pets now buI still feel very sad over two cats and a dog who are deceased.I'll never forget them;They were really special.

Totally understand how Gordon felt and feels about his greyhound or anyone else about pets.

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floo

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2017, 06:51:11 PM »
All depends on how you feel about relatives.

I grieved over grandparents and an aunt, als oclose  friend of family.
Parents are still alive, will certainly grieve for them& in-laws.God forbid my sister goes before me,or any of our children!

No pets now buI still feel very sad over two cats and a dog who are deceased.I'll never forget them;They were really special.

Totally understand how Gordon felt and feels about his greyhound or anyone else about pets.

I have never felt any grief when anyone has died, but have no idea how I would feel if my children or grandchildren died before me, I hope I never have to find out!

Rhiannon

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #15 on: May 11, 2017, 10:28:08 PM »
I've lost count of the number of times that I've crept sleepless downstairs in the small hours and sat with my dog's soft head in my lap. There is a consolation from his gentle, loving presence. The kids adore him and he does the same for them, he's a loyal friend who never judges or turns away. He's fun, a good excuse for exercise, endlessly forgiving, always wanting cuddles. And he protects us, at least as far as he is concerned.

Having a dog means knowing that you will lose one of the best friends that you ever have. But loss is a part of life and insulating oneself from it means not really living. Loving anything means getting hurt. Even labradors.

Robbie

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2017, 12:34:51 AM »
I'm glad I looked in on here before going to bed, and saw your post. I know what you mean, our dog was a labrador or so we were told but probably a labrador cross,he was quite small. Gorgeous dog,he loved the four of us and when we rescued two kittens he parented them, they were devoted to him & as adult cats quite obviously mourned when he died. They kept looking for him & perked up if ever we said his name.

All three pets are engraved on my heart,they enriched our lives.
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Bubbles

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2017, 07:27:07 AM »
My dog is family, I think you morn some family members more than others depending on how close you are to them.


floo

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2017, 08:33:16 AM »
I could never regard any animal as family. As I said our animals, had to know their place, which was not in the sitting room or bedrooms.

Robbie

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #19 on: May 12, 2017, 09:00:26 AM »
My dog is family, I think you morn some family members more than others depending on how close you are to them.
Exactly.
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Humph Warden Bennett

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2017, 10:01:25 AM »
It would be interesting perhaps to consider this from a Hindu, or Rastafarian viewpoint (Two faiths whom I know to believe in reincarnation). :)

ippy

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Re: Can it worse when a dog dies than a relative?
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2017, 10:41:20 PM »
I've had a number of dogs and it hurts so much when they have to go, it's a pity that they average out at about twelve years, it's always far too soon and the house feels so empty when there's no dog in it.

It absolutely breaks all of our family into tears when the dog finally has to go, I do think they make the world a better place when you've got a good one.

ippy