Who pays for the wedding, man?

[Nearly Sane]

I love the fact that this is some how a story and that the comments section is filled with such anger.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-41317297

[floo]

I love the fact that this is some how a story and that the comments section is filled with such anger.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-41317297

Weird!

We paid for our daughters' weddings, which were pleasant but not OTT.

[Harrowby Hall]

There are cultures where guests make payments at weddings.

I have been told that some Japanese weddings can be very elaborate with, perhaps three ceremonies - shinto, buddhist and "western". Guests pay to attend these ceremonies - the more they pay the more of the wedding activities they can access.

Were I getting married, providing my bride agreed, it would be done as cheaply as possible. My judgement is that elaborate weddings  are more for the benefit of others than the couple at the centre of the business.

When my daughter married, I was asked to make a contribution to the cost. I was also asked if I could lend some money to defray the cost. I am still awaiting repayment of the loan ...

[floo]

It was expected in my day that the parents would pay for their daughter's weddings. My parents paid for mine when I married at the age of 19 in 1969. Apart from insisting the dress wasn't fussy (I hate dressing up) I had no further say in it, not even the guests!

[Nearly Sane]

Indeed, Floo, which is why my far from well off parents struggled with having three daughters married over 5 years.  Kindly the parents of my youngest older sister went haffers.

[floo]

Indeed, Floo, which is why my far from well off parents struggled with having three daughters married over 5 years.  Kindly the parents of my youngest older sister went haffers.

My parents had four daughters to get off their hands. As soon as a guy with prospects came calling they were pleased to give permission for us to marry.

[Humph Warden Bennett]

TBH I don't have a problem with this, but it does seem ostentatious. A bit "Footballers Wives".

[Robbie]

I think it is embarrassing.  I almost blushed reading it.  Imagine asking guests to pay, it's horrible.
If they can't afford an expensive wedding, nothing wrong with doing it cheaper.  Go to the registrar or church and then have a reception in a local hotel or pub.   People will enjoy themselves just as much.

My parents paid for mine and my sister's weddings. My mother-in-law made my dress (she also made my sister's later), my sister-in-law made the cake. We had our reception at home, caterers put up a marquee in the garden.   It was lovely.   Things were simpler, though, thirty one years ago however I'd like to do the same for my two -  if that's what they want - when and if.

[Harrowby Hall]

I think it is embarrassing.  I almost blushed reading it.  Imagine asking guests to pay, it's horrible.

So what do you think of those cultures in which wedding guests pin banknotes to the bride's dress?

[Rhiannon]

Some friends of mine got a leaflet with a wedding invite that invited financial contributions to their honeymoon. '£15 will buy us cocktails to enjoy at sundown', that kind of thing, like an Oxfam Good Gifts leaflet.

[Rhiannon]

So what do you think of those cultures in which wedding guests pin banknotes to the bride's dress?

That's to make a contribution to their future, surely? My ex husband's family all gave us cash, it was their way of doing things too.

[floo]

Some friends of mine got a leaflet with a wedding invite that invited financial contributions to their honeymoon. '£15 will buy us cocktails to enjoy at sundown', that kind of thing, like an Oxfam Good Gifts leaflet.

I would much sooner give money to charity than a wedding booze up!

[Walter]

I would much sooner give money to charity than a wedding booze up!

my advice is ; NEVER give money to charity.

[Robbie]

So what do you think of those cultures in which wedding guests pin banknotes to the bride's dress?

No problem, I know the Greeks do that and in fact I think it's rather charming, part of their culture and far more sensible than giving them something they don't want.

Not the same as asking people to pay for their wedding which I think is horrible, never heard of it before.  However if it is part of the custom of some people, as mentioned earlier, the Japanese, that's different.   It isn't the way things are done in the UK, at least up to now.

[jeremyp]

If they can't afford an expensive wedding, nothing wrong with doing it cheaper. 

This is the real issue isn't it? Weddings and the surrounding social events seem to have to be ever more extravagant.

I can honestly say that the quality of the weddings I have been to had very little to do with the amount of money spent. Actually, I doubt if I have ever been to a wedding and a guest and spent less than £150 as a guest.

[jeremyp]

Indeed, Floo, which is why my far from well off parents struggled with having three daughters married over 5 years.  Kindly the parents of my youngest older sister went haffers.

Weren't the parents of your youngest older sister already on the hook for the wedding?

Pedantic me thinks you meant the parents of the prospective groom of your youngest older sister.