The one about the neglected garden reminded me of an anecdote my old father used to tell about a gardening friend who had a visit from his local priest.
Priest (looking at the well-tended garden):
"That's very nice, George, but don't forget you had a little help"
George: "Help? Where from?"
Priest: Up above.
George: "Ah, thass as may be, but you should'o seen it when he hed it all to hisself"
Bootiful piece of antitheistship you done thar, Dick. Ha Ha.