Let the living look after the dead?

[Owlswing]

I wish to remember a person as how they were in life, not as a corpse, which is why I have never seen any  relative once they are dead. I have only attended one funeral relating to my family that of my father in 2005. I didn't attend my mother's funeral six years ago.

I have never, yet, seen a rotting corpse at a funeral which, with the greatest regret, amoung my family and circle of friends are becoming ever more frequent.

I'm sorry but your attitude, as you describe it here, seems nonsense to me.

[jeremyp]

I don't know how one can be sentimental about a rotting corpse.

I'm not sentimental about corpses. But a lot of people are, particularly when the corpse used to be somebody they loved (and I don't really understand it either, but I do recognise that people can get quite distressed about such things). That's why I suggested the limit that I did.

[Roses]

I have never, yet, seen a rotting corpse at a funeral which, with the greatest regret, amoung my family and circle of friends are becoming ever more frequent.

I'm sorry but your attitude, as you describe it here, seems nonsense to me.

We are all different, I will do things my way, as no doubt you will do it yours.

[Robbie]

Yes, we all deal with things differently and shouldn't criticise.
I saw my dead mum in January last year and my dad in March this year, I didn't think of either as rotting corpses, they were both neat and tidy, looked peaceful and were the remains of my much loved parents.  My lovely in laws are now tottery, especially mum and a much loved uncle (dad's younger brother) and his wife, my aunt.  The important thing is they are precious right now.  However I understand people preferring to remember people when they were alive - we do that anyway, don't we?

Edited for a spelling, I put 'dead' instead of 'dad'.

[Roses]

Yes, we all deal with things differently and shouldn't criticise.
I saw my dead mum in January last year and my dead in March this year, I didn't think of either as rotting corpses, they were both neat and tidy, looked peaceful and were the remains of my much loved parents.  My lovely in laws are now tottery, especially mum and a much loved uncle (dad's younger brother) and his wife, my aunt.  The important thing is they are precious right now.  However I understand people preferring to remember people when they were alive - we do that anyway, don't we?

The only family funeral I have attended was that of my father in 2005. It was the nearest thing to a state funeral I will attend, he had been senior politician, even the Queen sent a representative. I was expected to be there as the eldest child and chief mourner, my mother didn't count in that respect. The main thing I remember about that day was his coffin being put in the grave and his youngest brother attempting to photo it, my youngest sister snatched the camera off him. STUPID MAN!  My father wanted a cremation but my mother had insisted on a burial, no doubt so she could carry on their spats when she got dumped on top of him. We let her have her way, even though it was my decision and that of my siblings to make. She also wanted a posh headstone, which cost £6,000. I went absolutely ballistic when I visited the grave on a visit to the island a year later and checked out the headstone to see if it was worth the money. My mother had placed a pot of artificial flowers on the grave. My father was a horticulturalist and grew flowers, he would have been disgusted. I dumped the pot in the nearest bin. 

[Robbie]

I understand your attitude even better now L,R, a sad unpleasant business.  Artificial flowers indeed for a horticulturalist.  All in the past now.

[Roses]

I understand your attitude even better now L,R, a sad unpleasant business.  Artificial flowers indeed for a horticulturalist.  All in the past now.

Yep all in the past, both my parents are now dead.

[ad_orientem]

       On another forum, I  came across  a thread whose originator was concerned regarding archaeologist's treatment of the remains of the ancient dead, and suggesting they remain in situ, their graves or tombs undisturbed, as modern archaeology was a violation of their sanctity, and displaying human remains in museums an act of immorality at best,sacrilege at worst. Not a new idea,I know; but still one which stirs emotions and controversy in quite a few circles. Should we store human remains in university or museum, or return them to their place of burial, if practical?

I'm generally of the opinion that we should not interfere with the dead. In the case of archeology, let it do it's bit, then let the remains rest in peace with dignity, not as a show piece.

[Anchorman]

I'm generally of the opinion that we should not interfere with the dead. In the case of archeology, let it do it's bit, then let the remains rest in peace with dignity, not as a show piece.

     

Where?

[Roses]

I'm generally of the opinion that we should not interfere with the dead. In the case of archeology, let it do it's bit, then let the remains rest in peace with dignity, not as a show piece.

Human remains, which are waste products, don't rest in peace anymore than does the garbage we put in our rubbish bin.

[SusanDoris]

Human remains, which are waste products, don't rest in peace anymore than does the garbage we put in our rubbish bin.

I do agree with you, LR. Sensitivity to people's feelings when it comes to people dying is needed, but it doesn't have to include untruths.

[Roses]

I do agree with you, LR. Sensitivity to people's feelings when it comes to people dying is needed, but it doesn't have to include untruths.

Obviously one should respect the feelings of those who are grieving over the death of a loved one, that goes without saying. However, it is important to respect the wishes of those who have died about the disposal of their remains. I wish my siblings and I had respected our father's wishes and had him cremated, instead of giving into our mother who wanted him buried with a posh headstone, which cost £6000. She could boast about it to people.

[Robbie]

The only way to look at it LR is that it hasn't done your father any harm, he's at peace regardless. The £6,000 could probably have been better spent but what's done is done and anyway that amount of money doesn't go that far.

[Roses]

The only way to look at it LR is that it hasn't done your father any harm, he's at peace regardless. The £6,000 could probably have been better spent but what's done is done and anyway that amount of money doesn't go that far.

I doubt he would be at  peace knowing our mother was dumped on top of him, the last thing he would have wanted. But they are dead and gone now, end of story.

[SteveH]

I think human remains should always be treated with respect, though I don't think that precludes putting ancient mummies on display in museums. I don't know whether archaeologists have a code of conduct about dealing with human remains - I'd guess that they do.
A former vicar of mine, who went to a parish on the Isle of Wight after leaving us, told of an Anglo-Saxon burial site in his parish which was discovered during building work. The skeletons had to be moved, and he and others, after determining from the dates that the dead had been Christians, not pagans, devised a short reburial service, which incuded a recital of the Lord's prayer in Anglo-Saxon. People found it very moving, apparently, and I can believe it.

[SteveH]

   



Try being less than two inches from the face of someone who died three thousand years ago.
Look into that face; see the wrinkles, realise that this was a living, breathing individual.
Then try not to have feelings of respect.
A friend of mine, Salima Ikram, who is an acknowledged expert on the field, still freely admits to feeliung that respect, and even pathos, when examining remains.

Quite. It is not "sentiment", LR, it is natural respect.

[Anchorman]

I think human remains should always be treated with respect, though I don't think that precludes putting ancient mummies on display in museums. I don't know whether archaeologists have a code of conduct about dealing with human remains - I'd guess that they do.
A former vicar of mine, who went to a parish on the Isle of Wight after leaving us, told of an Anglo-Saxon burial site in his parish which was discovered during building work. The skeletons had to be moved, and he and others, after determining from the dates that the dead had been Christians, not pagans, devised a short reburial service, which incuded a recital of the Lord's prayer in Anglo-Saxon. People found it very moving, apparently, and I can believe it.

 

     Something similar happened a couple of years back near the 'Candida Casa', the original 'White House' in Galloway,site of the earliest Christian site in Scotland, predating Iona by a few decades.
A local minister and RC priest conducted a simple reburial of the remains which had been examined and returned to the site.
Mind you, both tied their tongues in knots trying to pronounce some of the Brythonic words.
The blend of prayer, poetry and the sounds of sea, gull,curlew and in the distance, geese, was very atmospheric,especially given the fact that the Celtic tradition equated the wild Goose as symbolising the Holy Spirit....they had little concept of what a dove was.

[Roses]

The living don't need to look after the dead, but those who are still breathing.

[Roses]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-48359571

Washington State is the first US state to legalise human composting. I think it is a great idea, I am not sure if it is done here in the UK? Maybe we should put dead bodies in the garden waste bin.