Very interesting, insightful and helpful. Thanks NS. The concept of diffusing aggression by giving face both in terms of status and identity seems easy to agree with.
Seems tricky to figure out how to do this but will try to remember in a disagreement to "lower the identity stakes. The skilful disagreer finds a way of helping their adversary conclude that they can say or do something different, and still be themselves."
I agree that conversations used to be more skilled and oblique and taking into account community customs and norms rather than the confrontational and adversarial exchanges they are now.
