I would suggest you seek help with this, but if you really have no control you would not be able to seek help!
What if this god idea of yours does exist and it's, whatever it is, is letting you think you're in charge when in fact it's still controlling you, how do you know the god idea isn't controlling you and just letting you think you've got free will, what if______________?
Without evidence, what if?
You can make up anything you like and seems to me you overenthusiasticly enjoy taking up any of the old stories about the various parts of religious belief that you've been taught and none of these ideas I've seen you expound here on the forum have been or form any part of an original thought on your part, doesn't this apparent following along with the crowd tendency of yours ring any bells? Muted even?
By the way Alan, I 'd be interested to know why you apparently seem to think powerfully presented authoritative assertions amount to evidence? You're not stupid Alan, but your assertions do come over as I have described above, why?
With all the necessarily kindest of regards to you Alan, ippy