AB,
I fully understand what has been explained to me,...
That may or may not be true. We have no way of knowing though as you never,
ever engage with it and instead repeat endlessly your same mistakes.
...but I cannot accept any explanation which effectively denies...
And right there is the heart of the idiocy you cannot allow to be falsified. No matter how strong your opinion about something, when reason and evidence shows that opinion to be wrong you just dismiss it out of hand
regardless of the quality of the argument that undoes you. That's the truth of it - not that there aren't arguments that show you to be completely wrong, but rather that you
cannot allow for the possibility that there are arguments that show you to be wrong. Better by far to stick your fingers in your ears and shout "la-la-la" than to chance the abject terror of being honest and finding out that your huge investment in various superstitious beliefs has been entirely misplaced.
...the truth...
But as you know (but, as ever, just ignore) what you call "the truth" is in fact just
a truth - ie, the one you happen to find most comforting despite knowing too that it's no more possible that a four-sided triangle is possible.
...that I have the freedom to direct my own thought processes.
And yet again, that's true but only at a relatively superficial level. If you weren't so terrified of thinking about it though, you'd be able to see for yourself that there
must be a different reality at a deeper level because your concept of freedom
is logically impossible.
Oh, and just calling it "spiritual" (ie, "it's magic innit?") doesn't get you off that hook. It just plants you firmly in not
even wrong territory.