Alan,
For my own part, I can quite understand that you hold the views that you describe, and I have met enough people with similar views that I have no trouble in appreciating that they(and you) see reality as quite different to the way I see it. I also am very much aware that I could be wrong in so many ways, just as you could be.
I also am able to react to the world around me with a sense of wonder and awe, but I see no reason to attach those feelings to the idea of any god, because, put simply, I do not see the need for any god to have created it. I know that you cannot conceive of anything being able to exist without reference to your god, and I can quite accept that you think in this way. However, when you makes statements and assertions beginning with the words "But cannot you see.." or similar, then I have to take issue with you, that you are not able to see and appreciate that there are other feelings, points of view and arguments that come into play which are at variance to your own. I have no reason to seek to proselytise, yet I often feel, uncomfortably, that that is the main reason behind your posts. All I can ever hope to do is put forward my views in as reasoned a way as possible, try to follow logical trains of thought, listen to the arguments of others and ask pertinent questions to clarify my thinking. I genuinely think that you ignore this approach in favour of a more personal, assertion laden, evidence light approach. I think this is because you are of the opinion that what appears to you as your overwhelming devotion to your god has to be enough to convince others, without recourse to anything more. If this is so, certainly in my case, you could not be more in error.
What I do abhor (possibly because of the attitude that you are convinced that you have the one true path that you need to share with others) is the temptation that you seem to indulge in, of being rather less than honest in distorting the meanings of words (e.g. magic, determinism/predeterminism, freedom, choice, reaction/interaction) and belittling ideas(e.g. often with a disparaging word such as 'only' or 'just' when there is no occasion to use such epithets). I also find your propensity to ignore what others say, in order to carry on making the same mistakes, to be mildly irritating.(E.g. your insistence that we at least admit to the possibility of your god's existence, when you have been told repeatedly that we do.) It suggests either you are not listening or you don't believe us. Either way, this is not conducive to constructive debate.
I'm sure you feel you have a deep relationship with your god, Alan. I do not condemn you for it. That is an entirely personal thing on your part. Who am I to try to convince you otherwise? But, likewise, I have no relationship with any god, nor have I any inclination so to do. That does not mean, of course, that I believe there is no god(s) whatever. I am quite open to the possibility. As yet though I have not seen any evidence or any argument that would convince me.
As regards prayer. Again that is a very personal thing. I do not wish to condemn anybody who feels the need to pray. I can only say that, even when I was at my primary school, I kept my eyes open and watched others saying the Lord's Prayer. I was curious as to who on earth they were praying to. Suffice it to say that as I grew older, I had no particular reason to attempt to pray to any god that I did not believe in. That would, in my eyes, be tantamount to a personal dishonesty and, furthermore, would serve no use.
For me, the way you present youself, and how you respond to others, simply demonstrates your lack of understanding and respect for others and illustrates how you continually damage your case that you so earnestly wish to present.