AB,
Actually it was an answer to the mother in laws prayers!
There are many other factors which I can't elaborate on which confirm that our marriage was an amazing answer to many prayers. It was only after our marriage that these answers became evident.
Yes, thinking that outcomes “confirm an amazing answer” or similar is a very common failure of thinking, and it’s got a name too: survivorship bias. It goes like this: “Just think, if Ethel’s heel hadn’t have fallen off causing her to be late for our first date under the clock at Waterloo Station I would never have met her friend Madge she sent along to explain, and Madge and I would never have gone for that coffee, we so would never have fallen in love and got married, so we would never have had little Freeman, Hardy and Willis, and if Freeman hadn’t said one day “Daddy, why don’t you buy a lottery ticket today?” I’d never have won that £10m, and I’d never have won that £10m… etc. Truly therefore Ethel’s heel falling off must have been pre-ordained”.
It’s beguiling stuff isn’t it, albeit entirely bogus. If Ethel’s heel hadn’t fallen off maybe you and she would have fallen in love and had children you love just as much as F, H & W, or maybe you’d have fallen in love with someone else later on (having never met Madge) and marvelled at the unlikeliness of liking the events that ensued from that meeting instead and so on. It’s called survivorship bias because you look just at the “survivors” – ie, the marriage you actually had – but never consider the countless other outcomes there could have been that would have seemed just as remarkable and just as unlikely to you had any of them happened instead.
It’s not nearly as romantic I’m afraid, but we live in an atomised world rather than a pre-determined one – it’s all sliding doors as the popular vernacular has it. Had the cobbler put one more nail in the heel it wouldn’t have failed and Ethel would have shown up and your children with Madge would never have existed etc. Marvelling after the events at the unlikeliness of their occurrence and deciding that they must therefore have been the answers to prayers or a divine plan is in other words akin to looking through the wrong end of the telescope.
Anyway, as all that will be as lost on you as any other piece of logic is lost on you I see in any case that you’ve dodged the question again: did you fall in love as a conscious “choice”, or was the sensation of being in love something you realised had happened? And as it was something you realised that had happened, can you see how apparent “decisions” that arise from the subconscious are not actually decisions at all in the sense you’re attempting?