I fully understand the reasoning you give. I accept how you come to these logical conclusions.
Why do you keep misrepresenting it, then? You also said you had your own logic. Still waiting for it...
However, these conclusions are not compatible with the reality I live in - they come nowhere near.
This is nothing but personal incredulity that the experience you have can be explained by a deterministic system.
My reality tells me that I have freedom to choose and direct my own thoughts, with the knowledge that I could have chosen differently if I so wished.
Of course you could,
IF you'd so wished - but you didn't. The question is about
why you wished to do what you wished to do at the time, rather than something else. The logic applies directly to what you wished to do at the time. Either the wishes you form are coming about as the result of some deterministic system or not (and therefore involve randomness).
This is because I am in control - I make the choices- not the past.
This is a false dilemma. Of course it's you making the choices, but that doesn't in any way change the logic. You have come to be the person you are either entirely due to the past or not (which again means randomness).
As your logical analysis confirms, such freedom cannot be given by nature alone.
No, Alan, your misrepresenting it yet again.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "NATURE ALONE". The "freedom" you've just described above is perfectly compatible with a deterministic system. It's just your extra assertion that you could have done (wished) differently for no reason at all without it being random, that is
LOGICALLY self-contradictory.
I do not profess to know how my freedom manifests within me - I just use it.
So you can't exclude the logically self-consistent version, then.
Apart from basic human honesty, there is another reason you really do need to stop linking the argument with the physical. We don't
know (and somebody as well respected as Roger Penrose has suggested it, although he didn't manage to convince many people) that consciousness doesn't involve entirely new physics. Hence, if you can make it make
logical sense, then you
cannot rule out a physical explanation.