"Love is the energising elixir of the universe, the cause and effect of all harmonies, light's brilliance and the heat in wine and fire, it is the aroma of perfumes and the breath of the Divinity; it is the life in all being. Love is the quickening solvent in maya, and the coalescing agent in union. It is all that the texts have to say, and the more that remains unspoken. What is Love? Thou shalt know when thou becomest me." .... Rumi
Sounds beautifully poetic - but still hard to define in practical terms
E.g. my parents caned me when I was a kid, but I don't doubt their love for me. I never caned my kids and I also feel I love my children. So not really sure where that leaves us in terms of a definition of love.
Maybe my parents' love could be described as a biological strong attachment due to conceiving and giving birth to me and providing for me, combined with a sense of willingness to sacrifice for me and protectiveness towards me and interest in my well-being and a feeling of happiness when I show an interest in their well-being - as that means they didn't waste 20 odd years of their life making various sacrifices to bring me up when they could have been spending their time and money on something that was less arduous and more fun than parenting me. Like travelling or just putting their feet up.
My dad got a job abroad as an engineer from when I was about 7 years old. My maternal grandparents who lived with us had both died by the time I was 12. In effect my mum was working as a doctor and was a single parent most of the time I was growing up. And this may shock many of you
but yes I was an argumentative, annoying, opinionated teenager.
Easiest and sanest thing for my mum to have done was to stick me and my brother in boarding school in somewhere like India (so we retained our Asian culture), rent our home out and go join my dad abroad to live on his ex-pat salary with the house, gardener, cook, driver provided for by the company...yet she didn't. Easiest thing for my dad would be to have his wife with him instead of living apart from her so his kids could have an uninterrupted British education. It's not easy living abroad with no family life and only coming home every few months for a short time to parent teenagers who may have absorbed a little too much of the worst aspects of 80's British culture i.e. being somewhat argumentative, unappreciative, entitled 'rebels without a cause' who resent being told what to do by a largely absent parent who grew up in a different culture. To me what my parents did for us is love.
And the fact that they inflicted pain on me using a cane when I was a child (pre-teens) is not a sign for me they didn't love me. It would depend on the circumstances but I don't automatically equate pain and punishment as evidence of a lack of love, but many other people would. So it seems there isn't an universally agreed definition of "love" that holds for all time.
If you asked someone else they might say caning me is not compatible with love. Yet I know they loved me - so it leaves me wondering why place much emphasis on the word "love"?