AB,
First, you made a basic mistake of conflating the soundness of an argument with the importance of its subject. I corrected you on that. Why have you just ignored that correction?
The fact that you can try to analyse your own inner self makes it pretty obvious that you do have conscious control of your thoughts.
It does no such thing for the reasons that keep being given to you and you keep ignoring.
Are you afraid to admit your own ability because of the of the implications concerning your own spiritual nature?
Are you afraid to admit that the moon is made of cheese because of your dairy allergy? You can’t be “afraid to admit” something that has no supporting justification whatsoever, and that's a logical impossibility to boot.
All I can say is -…
No, what you could
actually say is: “I’ve finally found the cojones to stop ducking and diving in the face of every argument I’m given and will instead finally start engaging with them honestly, beginning now…".
You never will though will you.
Do not be afraid of the truth, because the truth does indeed set you free.
So far at least you given us no reason at all to think that you have the first idea what “the truth” is. If you want to do that you need to begin with some justifying arguments
that aren’t hopelessly wrong. And to do
that you need first a basic understanding at least of how logically sound arguments
should be constructed.
Why won’t you do that? Is it:
A. Because you can’t be bothered;
B. Because you’re frightened of the possible consequences if you did;
C. Because you just don’t understand the question; or
D. Something else?
You literally only need answer this with one letter so I really can’t make it any simpler or less onerous for you to do.