« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: Who would be your Jonah?  (Read 10614 times)

floo

  • Guest
Who would be your Jonah?
« on: September 10, 2015, 12:15:48 PM »
Your ship is sinking you have to nominate one of the following to be Jonah and chucked overboard. Who would you choose, with reasons for doing so?

David Cameron
The new leader of the Labour Party, whoever that is
Nigel Farage
Jesus

Although sorely tempted to chuck that ghastly man Farage into the sea, I would throw Jesus overboard as the least cruel option as he can supposedly walk on water!  ;D
Logged

Shaker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15639
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2015, 12:18:49 PM »
Sorry, can't answer - that's an impossible choice.

It does though remind me of that old but regularly updated gag: You're in a locked room with David Cameron, the Labour leader (whoever it may be), Nigel Farage and a revolver with only two bullets - who do you shoot?

Nigel Farage, twice - just to make sure.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2015, 12:22:19 PM by Shaker »
Logged
Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

Gordon

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18277
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2015, 12:23:23 PM »
I think I'd grab the lifeboat for myself and leave these guys to sort it out between themselves. Jesus won't have a problem though: allegedly he can walk on water, as you say.
Logged

Hope

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 25569
    • Tools With A Mission
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2015, 12:39:24 PM »
It would depend on what the ship was.  For instance, if it was the Labour Party 'ship', I probably wouldn't throw any of this lot over board because what would they have had to do with the ship sinking in the first place.

Similarly with the good ship 'Economy' - what have any of these had to do with the position of the economy?  As noted by a number of people before, even the ruling Labour administration of the day was only partially responsible for the economic collapse.

Logged
Are your, or your friends'/relatives', garages, lofts or sheds full of unused DIY gear, sewing/knitting machines or fabric and haberdashery stuff?

Lists of what is needed and a search engine to find your nearest collector (scroll to bottom for latter) are here:  http://www.twam.uk/donate-tools

~TW~

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9654
  • home sweet home
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2015, 04:03:11 PM »
 :)  Floo,  I think I would chuck you overboard and then crack open a good vintage.  :)

  ~TW~
Logged
" Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs/George Burns

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32521
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2015, 04:28:13 PM »
Quote from: Shaker on September 10, 2015, 12:18:49 PM
Sorry, can't answer - that's an impossible choice.

It does though remind me of that old but regularly updated gag: You're in a locked room with David Cameron, the Labour leader (whoever it may be), Nigel Farage and a revolver with only two bullets - who do you shoot?

Nigel Farage, twice - just to make sure.

Here's a dilemma.  You're on a boat and you spot David Cameron and Nigel Farage drowning.  There isn't time to rescue them both.

What filling do you put in your sandwich?
Logged
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32521
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2015, 04:31:11 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 10, 2015, 12:15:48 PM
Your ship is sinking you have to nominate one of the following to be Jonah and chucked overboard. Who would you choose, with reasons for doing so?

David Cameron
The new leader of the Labour Party, whoever that is
Nigel Farage
Jesus

Although sorely tempted to chuck that ghastly man Farage into the sea, I would throw Jesus overboard as the least cruel option as he can supposedly walk on water!  ;D

Obviously, we are going to end up eating the ones that we don't throw overboard, so Farage has to go because I don't think I could keep him down.
Logged
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

Outrider

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14572
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2015, 04:36:09 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 10, 2015, 12:15:48 PM
Your ship is sinking you have to nominate one of the following to be Jonah and chucked overboard. Who would you choose, with reasons for doing so?

David Cameron
The new leader of the Labour Party, whoever that is
Nigel Farage
Jesus

Although sorely tempted to chuck that ghastly man Farage into the sea, I would throw Jesus overboard as the least cruel option as he can supposedly walk on water!  ;D

It's a trick question, right? The ethical thing to do is to hole the boat and take them all down with you...

O.
Logged
Universes are forever, not just for creation...

New Atheism - because, apparently, there's a use-by date on unanswered questions.

Eminent Pedant, Interpreter of Heretical Writings, Unwarranted Harvester of Trite Nomenclature, Church of Debatable Saints

Hope

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 25569
    • Tools With A Mission
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2015, 04:42:41 PM »
Quote from: Outrider on September 10, 2015, 04:36:09 PM
It's a trick question, right? The ethical thing to do is to hole the boat and take them all down with you...
The other thing, O, is that the last option wouldn't be there anyway, as his collected birth, death and resurrection was a once for all event.  ;)
Logged
Are your, or your friends'/relatives', garages, lofts or sheds full of unused DIY gear, sewing/knitting machines or fabric and haberdashery stuff?

Lists of what is needed and a search engine to find your nearest collector (scroll to bottom for latter) are here:  http://www.twam.uk/donate-tools

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32521
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2015, 04:43:37 PM »
I know:  throw them all overboard.  If anybody floats, burn them as a witch.
Logged
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

floo

  • Guest
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2015, 04:57:33 PM »
Quote from: ~TW~ on September 10, 2015, 04:03:11 PM
:)  Floo,  I think I would chuck you overboard and then crack open a good vintage.  :)

  ~TW~

How kind! ;D ;D ;D
Logged

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32521
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2015, 04:59:07 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 10, 2015, 04:57:33 PM
Quote from: ~TW~ on September 10, 2015, 04:03:11 PM
:)  Floo,  I think I would chuck you overboard and then crack open a good vintage.  :)

  ~TW~

How kind! ;D ;D ;D

If TW was on the boat, I'd jump.
Logged
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

OH MY WORLD!

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7050
  • Just between you me and a monkey sitting on a rock
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM »
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.

"My soul in sad exile was out on life's sea
so burdened with sin and distressed
till I heard a sweet voice, saying "make me your choice"
and I entered the Haven of Rest

I've anchored my soul in the Haven of rest
I'll sail the wide seas no more
the tempest may sweep over wild, stormy deep
in Jesus I'm safe ever more"

George D. Moore
Logged

Shaker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15639
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2015, 06:03:34 PM »
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.
Logged
Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

bluehillside Retd.

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 19492
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2015, 06:18:29 PM »
Shakes,

Quote
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.

That gave me that rare thing - a genuine LOL!

Kudos
Logged
"Don't make me come down there."

God

OH MY WORLD!

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7050
  • Just between you me and a monkey sitting on a rock
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2015, 06:42:24 PM »
Jesus never bails out.
Logged

Shaker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15639
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2015, 06:44:00 PM »
 ::)
Logged
Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

Hope

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 25569
    • Tools With A Mission
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2015, 07:22:39 PM »
Quote from: Shaker on September 10, 2015, 06:03:34 PM
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.
Why?  After all, we all know that the nails had to go through the wrists!
Logged
Are your, or your friends'/relatives', garages, lofts or sheds full of unused DIY gear, sewing/knitting machines or fabric and haberdashery stuff?

Lists of what is needed and a search engine to find your nearest collector (scroll to bottom for latter) are here:  http://www.twam.uk/donate-tools

Shaker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15639
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2015, 07:24:56 PM »
Indeed - if nails were used at all if there was a Jesus to crucify in the first place.

Look at any painting of the crucifixion, however ...
Logged
Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

Walt Zingmatilder

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33235
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2015, 07:32:04 PM »
If the ship was sinking it would have to be the ugliest person overboard.
Logged

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32521
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #20 on: September 10, 2015, 08:32:37 PM »
Quote from: Shaker on September 10, 2015, 06:03:34 PM
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.
Please stop mocking the holey Jesus.
Logged
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

OH MY WORLD!

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7050
  • Just between you me and a monkey sitting on a rock
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2015, 11:01:39 PM »
So floo, you do know Jonah was sent overboard because that is what he instructed the crew to do to him? I'm afraid you would get no such instructions from anybody on your silly list. In fact your, what if,  isn't at all like the Jonah story.
Logged

floo

  • Guest
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2015, 08:32:43 AM »
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 11:01:39 PM
So floo, you do know Jonah was sent overboard because that is what he instructed the crew to do to him? I'm afraid you would get no such instructions from anybody on your silly list. In fact your, what if,  isn't at all like the Jonah story.

As the story of Jonah was only a myth, one can puts one's own spin on it! ;D
Logged

Hope

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 25569
    • Tools With A Mission
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #23 on: September 11, 2015, 12:23:36 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 11, 2015, 08:32:43 AM
As the story of Jonah was only a myth, one can puts one's own spin on it! ;D
Not really, Floo, as the story is illustrating a point about obedience of instructions.  Furthermore, there is nothing within the story that points to it having been a historical event.
Logged
Are your, or your friends'/relatives', garages, lofts or sheds full of unused DIY gear, sewing/knitting machines or fabric and haberdashery stuff?

Lists of what is needed and a search engine to find your nearest collector (scroll to bottom for latter) are here:  http://www.twam.uk/donate-tools

ProfessorDavey

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17611
Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #24 on: September 11, 2015, 12:27:45 PM »
Quote from: Hope on September 11, 2015, 12:23:36 PM
Quote from: Floo on September 11, 2015, 08:32:43 AM
As the story of Jonah was only a myth, one can puts one's own spin on it! ;D
Not really, Floo, as the story is illustrating a point about obedience of instructions.
What point someone takes from a story is up to them. The author might expect a certain view to be taken, but once written and out in the public domain stories take on a life of their own no longer under the control of the author. And this is of course especially true for stories handed down over thousands of years, where authorship is unclear and definitely long dead. More so again when the stories are subject to the whims of translation and the deliberate use within a political context (which is very much the case for the bible).

So people have been putting their own 'spin' on bible stories for centuries and will continue to do so to suit a variety of purposes.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up
« previous next »