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Author Topic: Who would be your Jonah?  (Read 10609 times)

floo

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Who would be your Jonah?
« on: September 10, 2015, 12:15:48 PM »
Your ship is sinking you have to nominate one of the following to be Jonah and chucked overboard. Who would you choose, with reasons for doing so?

David Cameron
The new leader of the Labour Party, whoever that is
Nigel Farage
Jesus

Although sorely tempted to chuck that ghastly man Farage into the sea, I would throw Jesus overboard as the least cruel option as he can supposedly walk on water!  ;D
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Shaker

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2015, 12:18:49 PM »
Sorry, can't answer - that's an impossible choice.

It does though remind me of that old but regularly updated gag: You're in a locked room with David Cameron, the Labour leader (whoever it may be), Nigel Farage and a revolver with only two bullets - who do you shoot?

Nigel Farage, twice - just to make sure.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2015, 12:22:19 PM by Shaker »
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Gordon

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2015, 12:23:23 PM »
I think I'd grab the lifeboat for myself and leave these guys to sort it out between themselves. Jesus won't have a problem though: allegedly he can walk on water, as you say.
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Hope

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2015, 12:39:24 PM »
It would depend on what the ship was.  For instance, if it was the Labour Party 'ship', I probably wouldn't throw any of this lot over board because what would they have had to do with the ship sinking in the first place.

Similarly with the good ship 'Economy' - what have any of these had to do with the position of the economy?  As noted by a number of people before, even the ruling Labour administration of the day was only partially responsible for the economic collapse.

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~TW~

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2015, 04:03:11 PM »
 :)  Floo,  I think I would chuck you overboard and then crack open a good vintage.  :)

  ~TW~
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jeremyp

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2015, 04:28:13 PM »
Quote from: Shaker on September 10, 2015, 12:18:49 PM
Sorry, can't answer - that's an impossible choice.

It does though remind me of that old but regularly updated gag: You're in a locked room with David Cameron, the Labour leader (whoever it may be), Nigel Farage and a revolver with only two bullets - who do you shoot?

Nigel Farage, twice - just to make sure.

Here's a dilemma.  You're on a boat and you spot David Cameron and Nigel Farage drowning.  There isn't time to rescue them both.

What filling do you put in your sandwich?
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jeremyp

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2015, 04:31:11 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 10, 2015, 12:15:48 PM
Your ship is sinking you have to nominate one of the following to be Jonah and chucked overboard. Who would you choose, with reasons for doing so?

David Cameron
The new leader of the Labour Party, whoever that is
Nigel Farage
Jesus

Although sorely tempted to chuck that ghastly man Farage into the sea, I would throw Jesus overboard as the least cruel option as he can supposedly walk on water!  ;D

Obviously, we are going to end up eating the ones that we don't throw overboard, so Farage has to go because I don't think I could keep him down.
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Outrider

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2015, 04:36:09 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 10, 2015, 12:15:48 PM
Your ship is sinking you have to nominate one of the following to be Jonah and chucked overboard. Who would you choose, with reasons for doing so?

David Cameron
The new leader of the Labour Party, whoever that is
Nigel Farage
Jesus

Although sorely tempted to chuck that ghastly man Farage into the sea, I would throw Jesus overboard as the least cruel option as he can supposedly walk on water!  ;D

It's a trick question, right? The ethical thing to do is to hole the boat and take them all down with you...

O.
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Hope

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2015, 04:42:41 PM »
Quote from: Outrider on September 10, 2015, 04:36:09 PM
It's a trick question, right? The ethical thing to do is to hole the boat and take them all down with you...
The other thing, O, is that the last option wouldn't be there anyway, as his collected birth, death and resurrection was a once for all event.  ;)
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jeremyp

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2015, 04:43:37 PM »
I know:  throw them all overboard.  If anybody floats, burn them as a witch.
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floo

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2015, 04:57:33 PM »
Quote from: ~TW~ on September 10, 2015, 04:03:11 PM
:)  Floo,  I think I would chuck you overboard and then crack open a good vintage.  :)

  ~TW~

How kind! ;D ;D ;D
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jeremyp

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2015, 04:59:07 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 10, 2015, 04:57:33 PM
Quote from: ~TW~ on September 10, 2015, 04:03:11 PM
:)  Floo,  I think I would chuck you overboard and then crack open a good vintage.  :)

  ~TW~

How kind! ;D ;D ;D

If TW was on the boat, I'd jump.
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OH MY WORLD!

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM »
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.

"My soul in sad exile was out on life's sea
so burdened with sin and distressed
till I heard a sweet voice, saying "make me your choice"
and I entered the Haven of Rest

I've anchored my soul in the Haven of rest
I'll sail the wide seas no more
the tempest may sweep over wild, stormy deep
in Jesus I'm safe ever more"

George D. Moore
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Shaker

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2015, 06:03:34 PM »
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.
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bluehillside Retd.

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2015, 06:18:29 PM »
Shakes,

Quote
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.

That gave me that rare thing - a genuine LOL!

Kudos
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OH MY WORLD!

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2015, 06:42:24 PM »
Jesus never bails out.
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Shaker

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2015, 06:44:00 PM »
 ::)
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Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

Hope

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2015, 07:22:39 PM »
Quote from: Shaker on September 10, 2015, 06:03:34 PM
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.
Why?  After all, we all know that the nails had to go through the wrists!
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Shaker

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2015, 07:24:56 PM »
Indeed - if nails were used at all if there was a Jesus to crucify in the first place.

Look at any painting of the crucifixion, however ...
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Walt Zingmatilder

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2015, 07:32:04 PM »
If the ship was sinking it would have to be the ugliest person overboard.
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jeremyp

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #20 on: September 10, 2015, 08:32:37 PM »
Quote from: Shaker on September 10, 2015, 06:03:34 PM
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 06:02:19 PM
Your ship wouldn't be sinking if you had Jesus on board.
It would if he was trying to bail out the water with his hands.
Please stop mocking the holey Jesus.
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OH MY WORLD!

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2015, 11:01:39 PM »
So floo, you do know Jonah was sent overboard because that is what he instructed the crew to do to him? I'm afraid you would get no such instructions from anybody on your silly list. In fact your, what if,  isn't at all like the Jonah story.
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floo

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2015, 08:32:43 AM »
Quote from: johnny canoe on September 10, 2015, 11:01:39 PM
So floo, you do know Jonah was sent overboard because that is what he instructed the crew to do to him? I'm afraid you would get no such instructions from anybody on your silly list. In fact your, what if,  isn't at all like the Jonah story.

As the story of Jonah was only a myth, one can puts one's own spin on it! ;D
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Hope

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #23 on: September 11, 2015, 12:23:36 PM »
Quote from: Floo on September 11, 2015, 08:32:43 AM
As the story of Jonah was only a myth, one can puts one's own spin on it! ;D
Not really, Floo, as the story is illustrating a point about obedience of instructions.  Furthermore, there is nothing within the story that points to it having been a historical event.
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ProfessorDavey

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Re: Who would be your Jonah?
« Reply #24 on: September 11, 2015, 12:27:45 PM »
Quote from: Hope on September 11, 2015, 12:23:36 PM
Quote from: Floo on September 11, 2015, 08:32:43 AM
As the story of Jonah was only a myth, one can puts one's own spin on it! ;D
Not really, Floo, as the story is illustrating a point about obedience of instructions.
What point someone takes from a story is up to them. The author might expect a certain view to be taken, but once written and out in the public domain stories take on a life of their own no longer under the control of the author. And this is of course especially true for stories handed down over thousands of years, where authorship is unclear and definitely long dead. More so again when the stories are subject to the whims of translation and the deliberate use within a political context (which is very much the case for the bible).

So people have been putting their own 'spin' on bible stories for centuries and will continue to do so to suit a variety of purposes.
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