I have...the teleological argument
Quite apart from the fundamental errors in the teleological argument:
1. Human artifacts are products of intelligent design; they have a purpose.
2. The universe resembles these human artifacts.
3. Therefore: It is probable that the universe is a product of intelligent design, and has a purpose.
4. However, the universe is vastly more complex and gigantic than a human artifact is.
5. Therefore: There is probably a powerful and vastly intelligent
designer fairy who created the universe.
cosmological argument
Quite apart from the fundamental flaws in the cosmological argument:
Everything that begins to exist has a cause;
The universe began to exist;
Therefore:
The universe has a cause
which is a fairymoral argument
Quite apart from the fact that the moral argument is unadulterated nonsense:
1. If
God Oberon, King of the Fairies, does not exist, objective moral values and duties do not exist.
2. Objective moral values and duties do exist.
3. Therefore,
God Oberon, King of the Fairies, exists.
ontological argument
It is a conceptual truth (or, so to speak, true by definition) that
God Oberon, Lord of the Silidh, is a being than which none greater can be imagined (that is, the greatest possible being that can be imagined).
God Oberon, Lord of the Silidh, exists as an idea in the mind.
A being that exists as an idea in the mind and in reality is, other things being equal, greater than a being that exists only as an idea in the mind.
Thus, if
God Oberon, Lord of the Silidh, exists only as an idea in the mind, then we can imagine something that is greater than
God Oberon, Lord of the Silidh, (that is, a greatest possible being that does exist).
But we cannot imagine something that is greater than
God Oberon, Lord of the Silidh, (for it is a contradiction to suppose that we can imagine a being greater than the greatest possible being that can be imagined.)
Therefore,
God Oberon, Lord of the Silidh, exists.
If your argument can be unravelled by the simple use of cut and paste, you probably didn't have much of an argument. If you're reliant on the moral, cosmological, teleological or ontological argument you're so far beyond clutching at straws it's no longer funny.
O.