I get that Rose. But when we finally gave in and took dad to the care facility, his moments of clarity were few. Once after he had been there about a week, he told mom that he feels that she has abandoned him. That broke her heart, she was there visiting him 6 days a week.
Unfortunately I have to tell you to kinda get over it, for your families sake. I promise you, that should it happen to you, they will eventually put you in a care facility. Don't make the guilt that they will feel that much harder. If and when the time comes, your moments of being real will be few if any.
Now there were moments of laughter even when dad was in his dementia. I had put a roast on the counter and went outside. I came back about an hour later and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it. I asked dad several time what did he do with the roast. I gave up looking and in my frustration I decided to empty the dishwasher. And in the dishwasher was my roast all squeaky clean.
Mom's sister had it and one day she came downstairs and went into the kitchen where her two daughters were. She asked them who the old man was sitting in the living room. They told my aunt that he was her husband. So she crept back down the hall and peeked around the corner and stared at my uncle for a bit. She came back and told her girls that he wasn't her type. On one of mom's visits with her she told mom that the girls make her sleep with an old man every night. And she added, "we don't do anything, nothing happens".
