Not everything can be reduced to iterative maths, floo.
Your second paragraph makes sense to me, that we created God in our own image. Certainly many religions seem to go along with that. However there is no explanation for personal experience and I wish Christians would stop trying to convince non believers about the existence of God because, whatever anyone says, it isn't something that can be proved objectively, scientifically. Be thankful floo that you will rarely encounter any believers who try to do that - unless you actively seek them out (I'm talking about real life, not forums).
I've had personal experience but there is no point in me recounting any of that because it could be explained in various ways and I have done it before elsewhere.
So - live your life and stop mithering about it! Life is too short, you have a decent life to enjoy. I do, however, understand why it does niggle you. I could say that God understands and will sort it all out in the end - but I won't
.