I have had several 'experiences' throughout my life, but I am going to try here to simply describe what I consider to be the first of such experiences. This happened when I was about 9/10 years old, and I am fully aware that the recollection of that experience may well have altered over time. However the fact that that 'experience' has remained with me to this day, at least, I suggest, points to the emotional power and vividness of such an 'experience'. It was during a warm late evening in Spring that it happened. It started in the most mundane way possible when I decided to go to the toilet(we had an outside toilet). Instead of going to the toilet, I walked to the bottom of our back garden, which looked onto a large enclosed rough wasteland surrounded by houses, which had once been a large allotments(during the war) but had now fallen into complete disuse. The air was still, the night was dark. I'm fairly certain there was no moon, indeed I don't even remember any stars showing so it may well have been overcast.
For some reason, unkown to me, then or now, I walked into this patch of waste ground for some distance, and sat down. I knew that I was completely alone sitting there with no particular sounds to break the silence.(it was a time before cars became the norm in our area). I think I remember the distant barking of a dog, but I could well be mistaken. I know that I could see the lights from some of the houses which were some distance from me, but, as far as I felt, I was totally isolated from any human beings, a feeling which was emphasised by the darkness which surrounded me.
The only way that I can express my feelings, which gradually and increasingly enveloped me, is that I became at one with my surroundings. I wasn't scared or emotionally excited, but had what I would now call an almost natural ambiance with my surroundings. I felt extremely relaxed and at ease with myself. It is extremely hard, if not impossible , to convey what I actually experienced. Looking back on it, the best I can do is suggest that it was as if, at that particular time, I had no need of anyone else at all. Everything seemed focused on this particular point in time, as if I was seeing myself and my surroundings with some sort of clarity which, as a young boy, I had never recognised before. It was an intensively subjective experience which I don't think I shared with anyone until I met my wife. There wasn't any feeling of a god or a pervading consciousness throughout this experience. I do remember however going back in, and my mother telling me that I had been rather a long time on the toilet.
Certain other experiences that I have had since have reinforced that first experience and each one has been a personal, never a shared, experience.