Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 145500 times)

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1125 on:** January 25, 2022, 02:26:12 PM »

The interior designer was at the party........does that mean it's curtains?

Sebastian Toe · « **Reply #1126 on:** January 25, 2022, 05:30:10 PM »

Quote from: Trentvoyager on January 25, 2022, 02:26:12 PM

The interior designer was at the party........does that mean it's curtains?

...he needs to pull himself together!

Enki · « **Reply #1127 on:** January 26, 2022, 04:38:07 PM »

A girl sees a boy with a box of kittens. She goes over, looks at them and says "Oh what cute kittens", the boy replies "I know, and they are Christian kittens".

About a week later she sees the boy again with the same box of kittens. once again she walks over and says "My, aren't they just adorable!" the boy replies "Yes, and these are atheist kittens"

She looks at the boy and says "Hang on, you said they were Christian kittens before?"

The boy looks at her and says " Yeah they were, but now they have their eyes open"

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1128 on:** January 28, 2022, 07:01:22 PM »

My sister changed a lot when she became vegan.
It's as if I’ve never seen herbivore.

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1129 on:** January 28, 2022, 07:09:11 PM »

So this isn't a joke but it's been making me giggle all day. It is a photo taken at a waxwork museum in Germany:

SqueakyVoice · « **Reply #1130 on:** January 29, 2022, 02:46:49 PM »

It'll be the first chance to watch the Winter Olympics in a few weeks time.

Even China has never seen things go downhill so fast before.

((C) BBC News Quiz)

SqueakyVoice · « **Reply #1131 on:** February 05, 2022, 10:26:42 AM »

Turns out all the ski lifts in China are broken now.

If any of the Olympic skiers want to win a medal, they'll have a mountain to climb.

Walt Zingmatilder · « **Reply #1132 on:** February 05, 2022, 11:24:36 AM »

Apparently many of Meat loaf's fans wore special meatloaf underwear on the occasion of the great man's passing.
On the front they have ''I would do anything for love'' and on the back ''but I won't do that''.

SteveH · « **Reply #1133 on:** February 08, 2022, 02:06:47 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1134 on:** February 11, 2022, 03:09:16 PM »

Pointless on Cressida Dick

https://youtu.be/9tsVJjE0qAw

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1135 on:** February 13, 2022, 06:28:37 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1136 on:** February 13, 2022, 06:29:12 PM »

SteveH · « **Reply #1137 on:** February 16, 2022, 10:18:38 AM »

The grand old Duke of York,
He had two million quid.
He gave it all to an American girl
For something he never did.

SteveH · « **Reply #1138 on:** February 16, 2022, 10:31:51 AM »

Oo-er Missus!

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1139 on:** February 18, 2022, 12:46:53 PM »

I must say with these strong winds I'm very concerned about the caravan on my front drive.

Yesterday I didn't even have a caravan.

jeremyp · « **Reply #1140 on:** February 18, 2022, 01:43:45 PM »

Quote from: Trentvoyager on February 18, 2022, 12:46:53 PM

I must say with these strong winds I'm very concerned about the caravan on my front drive.

Yesterday I didn't even have a caravan.

Where's our caravan gone?

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind.

SqueakyVoice · « **Reply #1141 on:** February 18, 2022, 04:08:00 PM »

Sometimes, wind can be really exciting. But now, I don't want it damaging either my or my neighbours' gardens.

So now, I'm sitting on the fence.

SteveH · « **Reply #1142 on:** February 20, 2022, 02:46:55 PM »

jeremyp · « **Reply #1143 on:** February 20, 2022, 02:51:19 PM »

Quote from: Steve H on February 20, 2022, 02:46:55 PM

!!!

Quite. That missing apostrophe is shocking.

jeremyp · « **Reply #1144 on:** February 20, 2022, 02:56:34 PM »

In other news: a follower of Zen has discovered the face of Jesus imprinted in a tub of margarine. When asked to comment, he said "I can't believe it's not Buddha."

jeremyp · « **Reply #1145 on:** February 20, 2022, 03:00:06 PM »

And since that last joke set me on a certain track, here is the incomparable Emma Chambers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37ficiqoE6U

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1146 on:** February 24, 2022, 07:04:54 PM »

The Kerry man who walks on to a building site and asks the ganger for a job
The ganger says : “d’ye know the difference between a girder and a joist ?”
“Ah sure” says the Kerry man, “joist wrote Ulysses and girder wrote Faust”

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1147 on:** March 08, 2022, 09:12:48 PM »

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1148 on:** March 14, 2022, 08:28:51 AM »

Are you sweating when filling up at the petrol pump?

Feeling sick at the prices?

You could have car owner virus.

jeremyp · « **Reply #1149 on:** March 14, 2022, 10:56:49 AM »

I was in the boulangerie the other day when I accidentally sat down on a loaf of bread.

It was a pain in the arse.

News:

Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 145500 times)