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Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 145267 times)

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1525 on: August 21, 2023, 08:55:49 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1526 on: August 22, 2023, 08:36:00 AM »
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jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1527 on: August 22, 2023, 09:29:26 AM »
Quote from: Nearly Sane on August 22, 2023, 08:36:00 AM
The best jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-66569215

The winner was actually a bit of a groaner. My favourite is

Quote from: WilliamStone
Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1528 on: August 22, 2023, 02:20:41 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1529 on: August 22, 2023, 06:01:01 PM »
Pie anyone?
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1530 on: August 22, 2023, 07:23:00 PM »
Musicians as children.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1531 on: August 23, 2023, 07:41:12 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1532 on: August 24, 2023, 02:03:49 PM »
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Sebastian Toe

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1533 on: August 25, 2023, 06:15:01 PM »
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said,
 “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”


I'm still trying to figure out why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1534 on: August 26, 2023, 10:18:42 AM »
As murderer George Appel was strapped into the electric chair in 1928, his last words were "Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel".
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1535 on: August 26, 2023, 11:22:45 AM »
Quote from: SteveH on August 26, 2023, 10:18:42 AM
As murderer George Appel was strapped into the electric chair in 1928, his last words were "Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel".
Later that year serial killer Sam Potato complained that his Roast Potato joke would just be seen as a rip off.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2023, 11:43:39 AM by Nearly Sane »
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1536 on: August 26, 2023, 04:43:26 PM »
I went out and bought so many Dracula dolls, I lost Count.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1537 on: August 27, 2023, 10:35:59 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1538 on: August 27, 2023, 04:58:24 PM »
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1539 on: August 27, 2023, 05:04:28 PM »
Not a lot of people know this, but Maggie Thatcher had a glass eye. It was the one with a gleam of humanity in it.
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1540 on: August 27, 2023, 05:18:49 PM »
"You don't need a degree in applied bollocks to know what's going on" - DCI Gene Hunt, 'Life On Mars', S2, E6. (Not exactly a joke, but it made me laugh.)
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1541 on: August 27, 2023, 05:35:10 PM »
"Couldn't catch the clap in a French brothel" - ibid.
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1542 on: August 27, 2023, 05:41:49 PM »
"She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot" - ibid.
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jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1543 on: August 29, 2023, 10:46:50 AM »
Quote from: Nearly Sane on August 26, 2023, 11:22:45 AM
Later that year serial killer Sam Potato complained that his Roast Potato joke would just be seen as a rip off.

Mass murderer Alan Aska was none too pleased also.
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1544 on: August 30, 2023, 08:41:01 AM »
...
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Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1545 on: August 30, 2023, 01:52:17 PM »
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.  Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.

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jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1546 on: August 30, 2023, 03:21:15 PM »
Quote from: Aruntraveller on August 30, 2023, 08:41:01 AM
...

I think FFS Go should really be under Dorries.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1547 on: August 30, 2023, 06:43:41 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1548 on: August 30, 2023, 10:18:41 PM »
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1549 on: August 30, 2023, 10:49:43 PM »
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.
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