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Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 145091 times)

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1725 on: December 25, 2023, 10:42:13 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1726 on: December 25, 2023, 09:27:20 PM »
Angel of the Morph
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1727 on: December 26, 2023, 09:55:16 AM »
(From Bill Bailey), "When you hear the lyrics (from The Killers) "it's meaningless saying 'I got soul, but I'm  not not a soldier. You might as well say, 'I got ham, but I'm not a hamster."
(& from me) I got toes, but I'm not a toaster.
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1728 on: December 26, 2023, 07:28:16 PM »
Quote from: SqueakyVoice on December 26, 2023, 09:55:16 AM
(From Bill Bailey), "When you hear the lyrics (from The Killers) "it's meaningless saying 'I got soul, but I'm  not not a soldier. You might as well say, 'I got ham, but I'm not a hamster."
(& from me) I got toes, but I'm not a toaster.
I look wan, but I'm not a ...
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1729 on: December 26, 2023, 07:30:35 PM »
The Israeli prime minister hates email.
That's why Benjamin's Not on Yahoo.
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1730 on: December 27, 2023, 10:06:35 AM »
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1731 on: December 27, 2023, 10:17:39 AM »
And in English...?
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1732 on: December 27, 2023, 02:33:40 PM »
Quote from: SteveH on December 27, 2023, 10:17:39 AM
And in English...?

The person on the left is asking what day it is and the person on the right is saying they don't know.

I'm struggling to find a punch line in it.
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Sebastian Toe

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1733 on: December 27, 2023, 05:05:17 PM »
What do a pregnant lady, a frozen beer and a burnt pizza have in common?


Someone left it in too long!
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1734 on: December 27, 2023, 09:12:54 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1735 on: December 29, 2023, 01:20:37 PM »
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1736 on: December 29, 2023, 02:57:46 PM »
Quote from: SteveH on December 26, 2023, 07:28:16 PM
I look wan, but I'm not a ...
I got a pan, but I'm  not a pangolin.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1737 on: December 31, 2023, 12:35:35 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1738 on: December 31, 2023, 12:46:04 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1739 on: January 02, 2024, 12:45:30 PM »

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asked the rabbit, “What is your blood type?” The rabbit responded, “I’m probably a type O.”
« Last Edit: January 02, 2024, 01:15:45 PM by Nearly Sane »
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1740 on: January 02, 2024, 12:51:11 PM »
Quote from: Nearly Sane on January 02, 2024, 12:45:30 PM
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic.
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asked the rabbit, “What is your blood type?” The rabbit responded, “I’m probably a type O.”
A rabbit?
P.S. I got hips, but I'm not a hipster.
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"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1741 on: January 02, 2024, 01:16:30 PM »
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1742 on: January 02, 2024, 02:11:03 PM »
Quote from: Nearly Sane on January 02, 2024, 01:16:30 PM
That's the joke.
Oh, good grief.... How bloody long did that take me... :(
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"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1743 on: January 02, 2024, 09:11:36 PM »
Quote from: SqueakyVoice on January 02, 2024, 02:11:03 PM
Oh, good grief.... How bloody long did that take me... :(

About a minute for me.
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1744 on: January 02, 2024, 09:40:48 PM »
Shouldn't the pastor be an Imam?
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1745 on: January 03, 2024, 07:36:43 PM »
Not exactly a joke but close enough:

Binfluencer (noun): Person who puts the right bin out on the right day, letting everyone else on the street know which bin to take out. Particularly useful over Christmas and New Year when no one knows what day it is.
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Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1746 on: January 03, 2024, 07:52:31 PM »
..
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Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1747 on: January 04, 2024, 12:57:08 PM »
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1748 on: January 04, 2024, 10:53:38 PM »
The past, the present and the future walk into a pub.
It was tense.
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When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1749 on: January 06, 2024, 06:40:06 AM »
An oldie but the right day
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