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Just watched the latest episode of BBC's coverage of the Chelsea Flower , with the automatic subtitles because I'm a deaf old git. One interviewed expert was talking about the ideal position for a particular plant. he said "semi or full sun", but it came out in the subtitles as "semi-awful son"!
Years ago, I was chatting to a North Sea diver on the way up to Shetland,who told me of the time he took his wife and mother in law to a wildlife park. As the monkeys clambered over his car, one enterprising simian discovered that inserting his cock betwixt the wiper and the windscreen would give a satisfactory simulation of a lady monkey's front bottom. The diver, and his mother in law, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, were then treated to a few minutes of hot monkey lipstick action, before said monkey came his ninepence and left monkey mess in the driver's view.Apparently, putting the wipers on only spreads it about a bit...
