Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 158672 times)

Walter · « **Reply #375 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:35:34 PM »

So I've just seen a bloke telling jokes and blending in with the background
He said he was a stand-up chameleon

😂

Walter · « **Reply #376 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:37:10 PM »

They say " sorry" is the hardest word but I struggle with
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch !

Odd really ! X

Walter · « **Reply #377 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:38:46 PM »

I see Sting has just released a new record . A song about preserving meat .
It's called Sausage in a Bottle .

I'm not kidding !!!! X

Walter · « **Reply #378 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:39:39 PM »

So I've heard Boots the Chemist is now selling "Time in a Bottle "
Apparently it's a great healer !

Crazy xxxxx

Walter · « **Reply #379 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:41:39 PM »

Did you know?
You can't buy a cooker in Lancashire
But you can buy a queue-ker, which is very similar , apparently 👍
😆

Walter · « **Reply #380 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:42:27 PM »

What do you call a vegan pizza ?

A frisbee !

😎

Walter · « **Reply #381 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:43:33 PM »

Did you know ?
Madame Tussaud was named after a famous waxwork museum in London !!

Makes sense 👍😝

Walter · « **Reply #382 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:45:15 PM »

Hears a quick one liner to impress your friends 😂

I met my wife in a nightclub . It was a bit of a surprise , I thought she was at home with the kids !! 😂😂😂😂😘

You're welcome x

Walter · « **Reply #383 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:46:16 PM »

Last week I responded to a TV ad to adopt a snow leopard and sent £2 ,
It still hasn't arrived !!!
Have I been conned ??

🐯

Walter · « **Reply #384 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:47:33 PM »

I misplaced my dictionary today ,
I was lost for words 😆

😘

Walter · « **Reply #385 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:48:38 PM »

I met a bloke today and made the mistake of asking him what he does ; he went on and on about his religion for about two hours ;
What a cult !!!
X

Walter · « **Reply #386 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:49:56 PM »

What do you call a fat Orca 🐳?

....... a Porca !!!

Made me laugh anyway 😂

Walter · « **Reply #387 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:51:02 PM »

Did you know ?
99% of the oceans are wet!

Me neither !!!!!

Walter · « **Reply #388 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:52:11 PM »

Them little African kids should stop messing about and drinking that filthy water and get off home and have a bath !
I blame the parents 😤

Walter · « **Reply #389 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:53:08 PM »

Can you imagine the confusion at school if you had a kid and named it Yourhighness ?😂😂😂

Walter · « **Reply #390 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:55:19 PM »

What's the difference between Ant and Dec?
No one knows !
Xxx

Walter · « **Reply #391 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:56:59 PM »

Did you know? ;
Adam Ant's real name is
William Wasp

I know , crazy! X

Walter · « **Reply #392 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:58:23 PM »

How can you tell if someone went to Eaton ?
Don't worry , they'll let you know !!!!
😤

Walter · « **Reply #393 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:59:51 PM »

I told a bad joke in a lift once ,
It fell flat on many levels
😳

Walter · « **Reply #394 on:** November 23, 2019, 09:01:04 PM »

You might think ex-politician Ed Balls has an unfortunate name but it's his sister Ophelia I feel sorry for 😖

Walter · « **Reply #395 on:** November 23, 2019, 09:02:03 PM »

As a painter , "he worked hard for the Monet "

Oh dear ! X

Walter · « **Reply #396 on:** November 23, 2019, 09:04:49 PM »

Do you think leaving the European Onion
could affect our supply of Brussels for next Christmas

😱😤

Walter · « **Reply #397 on:** November 23, 2019, 09:05:46 PM »

Did you know?
King Charles the second was named after a pair of spaniels !

Me neither x

Walter · « **Reply #398 on:** November 23, 2019, 09:07:17 PM »

I only got up for a wee , did 20 minutes 😂😂😂

Walter · « **Reply #399 on:** November 23, 2019, 09:08:12 PM »

So I was interviewing Kylie ;
Me : can't believe you did your first performance at 6 ?
Kylie: yes it seems such a long time ago .!
Me : wel not really , it's only half past seven now 😝

🎅🎅🎅

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Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 158672 times)