Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 159160 times)

Brownie

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #75 on: June 30, 2016, 12:02:08 PM »
Too late jp, I've already nicked it.
Let us profit by what every day and hour teaches us

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #76 on: June 30, 2016, 04:28:13 PM »
Too late jp, I've already nicked it.

I've already published.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #77 on: July 01, 2016, 09:27:54 PM »
I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band.

I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2016, 09:39:34 PM by Nearly Sane »

L.A.

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #78 on: July 02, 2016, 02:13:46 PM »
Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's minivan when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"

Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the aerial off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.

About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes a look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy (let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her) eventually admits that, yes, she did.

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."
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Keith Maitland

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #79 on: July 18, 2016, 03:49:11 AM »
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

Keith Maitland

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #80 on: July 19, 2016, 02:32:40 AM »
How do you tell a kebab to be quiet?

Shhh, kebab.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #81 on: July 19, 2016, 05:11:12 AM »
Bless me vicar, padre, father, for I have synonymed

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #82 on: July 19, 2016, 08:48:47 AM »
Puns about trigonometry - they are the first sine of madness.
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Sebastian Toe

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #83 on: July 19, 2016, 09:53:32 AM »
Puns about trigonometry - they are the first sine of madness.
Why, cos you say so?
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Gordon

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #84 on: July 19, 2016, 09:57:45 AM »
Why, cos you say so?

You're just being obtuse, Seb.

Owlswing

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #85 on: July 19, 2016, 01:12:09 PM »

You're just being obtuse, Seb.


No, Gordy, he just has a different angle on things.
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Gordon

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #86 on: July 19, 2016, 01:27:34 PM »
No, Gordy, he just has a different angle on things.

An acute observation.

Owlswing

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #87 on: July 19, 2016, 01:30:52 PM »

An acute observation.


I was trying not to be obtuse!
The Holy Bible, probably the most diabolical work of fiction ever to be visited upon mankind.

An it harm none, do what you will; an it harm some, do what you must!

Gordon

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #88 on: July 19, 2016, 01:33:50 PM »
Q: What do you say when you see an empty parrot cage?

A: Polygon.

bluehillside Retd.

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #89 on: July 19, 2016, 01:34:52 PM »
Owls,

Quote
I was trying not to be obtuse!

But you have gone off at a tangent...
"Don't make me come down there."

God

Owlswing

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #90 on: July 19, 2016, 01:39:11 PM »
Owls,

But you have gone off at a tangent...

No, just been having a chat with a two old angels, a good sine as they were sitting on high clouds above heaven.
The Holy Bible, probably the most diabolical work of fiction ever to be visited upon mankind.

An it harm none, do what you will; an it harm some, do what you must!

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #91 on: July 19, 2016, 01:42:19 PM »
Did you hear about the mathematician who took a commode up Everest?

It's high potty news.
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bluehillside Retd.

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #92 on: July 19, 2016, 01:50:51 PM »
jeremy,

Quote
Did you hear about the mathematician who took a commode up Everest?

It's high potty news.

No, but I did hear about the Cherokee Indian with three wives, all three of of whom became pregnant at the same time. The dad-to-be made one wife sit on the skin of a hippopotamus, while the other two each sat on zebra skins. In due course the latter two each had a baby boy, while the former had boy twins.

So pleased was the Cherokee that he gave half his worldly goods to the mother of the twins, and a quarter each to the other mothers.

When asked why, it turned out that the sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus were equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.   
"Don't make me come down there."

God

trippymonkey

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #93 on: July 19, 2016, 10:43:04 PM »
Pedant Alert !!!
A Cherokee Indian would never have seen a hippo Or a zebra ?!!?!?

Gordon

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #94 on: July 19, 2016, 11:05:55 PM »
Pedant Alert !!!
A Cherokee Indian would never have seen a hippo Or a zebra ?!!?!?

Could have if he had been on a safari holiday and brought back some souvenier blankets.

Keith Maitland

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #95 on: July 29, 2016, 04:13:45 AM »
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.




Keith Maitland

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #96 on: August 12, 2016, 06:24:47 AM »
Have you heard the butter joke?

Don’t spread it.

Bubbles

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #97 on: August 12, 2016, 07:48:47 AM »
Have you heard the butter joke?

Don’t spread it.

 ;D ;D ;D

L.A.

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #98 on: August 15, 2016, 09:56:13 PM »
Q: What do you call a crow that leans to the left?

A: Jeremy Corvid.
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Sebastian Toe

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #99 on: August 15, 2016, 10:51:43 PM »
A woman says to a Scotsman;
What do you wear under your kilt?

The Scotsman says, Why don't you your hand up there and feel for yourself?

So she does and says - Oh! It’s gruesome.  :o

The Scotsman replies
Now, put your hand up again, it’s gruesome more!  ;)
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein