Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 158676 times)

Robbie · « **Reply #350 on:** October 30, 2019, 11:35:35 PM »

That certainly was crappy service, were they taking the piss?

(Walter I don't get the cider/Dickens joke, please explain.)

bluehillside Retd. · « **Reply #351 on:** October 31, 2019, 01:46:21 AM »

Robbie,

Are you sure you want to know - it’s quite rude?

His girlfriend likes a Dickens cider. Now say that out loud.

Robbie · « **Reply #352 on:** November 01, 2019, 01:34:01 PM »

Oh very droll

. I daresay most of us do at times

.

Walter · « **Reply #353 on:** November 01, 2019, 03:23:55 PM »

Quote from: Robbie on November 01, 2019, 01:34:01 PM

Oh very droll . I daresay most of us do at times .

Robbie
That's shocking 😱😈

bluehillside Retd. · « **Reply #354 on:** November 01, 2019, 03:58:21 PM »

Robbie,

Quote

Oh very droll . I daresay most of us do at times .

Most? Half maybe...

Robbie · « **Reply #355 on:** November 01, 2019, 05:20:08 PM »

Thinking about it, less than half. I haven't had it for years. It was very popular when I was at school. I doubt anyone under thirty has even heard of Spotted Dick, lovely with creamy custard. Yum. This looks nice but I remember it somewhat different:- https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/auntys-steamed-spotted-dick-puddings/664817-94395-94396

Walter · « **Reply #356 on:** November 01, 2019, 07:57:55 PM »

Quote from: Robbie on November 01, 2019, 05:20:08 PM

Thinking about it, less than half. I haven't had it for years. It was very popular when I was at school. I doubt anyone under thirty has even heard of Spotted Dick, lovely with creamy custard. Yum. This looks nice but I remember it somewhat different:- https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/auntys-steamed-spotted-dick-puddings/664817-94395-94396

what the ....?
Am I missing something here ?

jeremyp · « **Reply #357 on:** November 01, 2019, 08:16:15 PM »

Quote from: Walter on November 01, 2019, 07:57:55 PM

what the ....?
Am I missing something here ?

Robbie has done a classic bait and switch. She posted something about having a "dick inside her" hopefully making everybody think she's talking about sex but the reveal is that she was actually talking about a classic English pudding viz spotted dick.

That's two frogs dissected in one post. I'm on a roll.

Walter · « **Reply #358 on:** November 01, 2019, 10:00:47 PM »

Quote from: jeremyp on November 01, 2019, 08:16:15 PM

Robbie has done a classic bait and switch. She posted something about having a "dick inside her" hopefully making everybody think she's talking about sex but the reveal is that she was actually talking about a classic English pudding viz spotted dick.

That's two frogs dissected in one post. I'm on a roll.

so there's these two frogs , one says to the other
"Do fancy a cider?"
" no , I'd rather have spotted dick "
" okay , I've got one of them too "

😝

Robbie · « **Reply #359 on:** November 02, 2019, 11:21:23 AM »

Jeremy:- :- That's two frogs dissected in one post. I'm on a roll.

I can support no organisation that is indifferent to the cruelty of animals.

Frogs have feelings Science mag:- Frogs, birds, monkeys, and humans make a variety of sounds expressing emotions. And because that ability is shared by every land-dwelling animal with a backbone, Charles Darwin argued that these cries have a common origin. Humans can recognize the emotions in the voices of other mammals, including cats and dogs.
25 Jul 2017

Roses · « **Reply #360 on:** November 02, 2019, 11:32:14 AM »

Quote from: Robbie on November 02, 2019, 11:21:23 AM

Jeremy:- :- That's two frogs dissected in one post. I'm on a roll.

I can support no organisation that is indifferent to the cruelty of animals.

Frogs have feelings Science mag:- Frogs, birds, monkeys, and humans make a variety of sounds expressing emotions. And because that ability is shared by every land-dwelling animal with a backbone, Charles Darwin argued that these cries have a common origin. Humans can recognize the emotions in the voices of other mammals, including cats and dogs.
25 Jul 2017

Why don't you start a thread on the topic if you feel so strongly about it?

Walter · « **Reply #361 on:** November 02, 2019, 02:45:54 PM »

I have no idea what's going on here

? 😳

Walter · « **Reply #362 on:** November 02, 2019, 04:41:24 PM »

So what was you up to last night Walter?

The nuts my friend, the nuts! 😱

jeremyp · « **Reply #363 on:** November 02, 2019, 07:16:53 PM »

Quote from: Walter on November 02, 2019, 02:45:54 PM

I have no idea what's going on here ? 😳

She did it again.

ippy · « **Reply #364 on:** November 23, 2019, 01:04:33 PM »

One in five dyslexic children get a present from Satan at christmas

Walter · « **Reply #365 on:** November 23, 2019, 07:57:10 PM »

Did you know ?

17 out of 10 teenagers can't do fractions !

Walter · « **Reply #366 on:** November 23, 2019, 07:58:02 PM »

Quote from: ippy on November 23, 2019, 01:04:33 PM

One in five dyslexic children get a present from Satan at christmas

😂👍

Walter · « **Reply #367 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:21:25 PM »

I recently lay awake all night wondering where the sun had gone

Then it dawned on me 😤

Walter · « **Reply #368 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:23:38 PM »

Did you know?
Beyoncé song "Put a ring on it"
Is actually about how to keep pigeons !

Who knew ?

Walter · « **Reply #369 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:25:40 PM »

So I've just been watching a horror film on YouTube
It was much better in Full Scream Mode !

😜😘

Walter · « **Reply #370 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:27:06 PM »

I used to know a bloke who didn't trust doctors so read all the alternative medicine books ,
Sadly he died of a miss print !

Walter · « **Reply #371 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:29:26 PM »

So I was talking to a bloke in the pub;
He said he was recovering from a vasectomy but was okay with it after his wife's boyfriend had turned up at the hospital with a bunch of flowers for him 😳

Takes all sorts

Walter · « **Reply #372 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:30:48 PM »

So I just switched my phone to "airplane " mode
And the damned thing flew off ✈️

Crazy xxxxx

Walter · « **Reply #373 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:32:34 PM »

So I was talking to this bloke who inspects electricity pylons ;
Me , so how often do people fall off these things ?
Him , Only once

Hmmm ! Xxxxxx

Walter · « **Reply #374 on:** November 23, 2019, 08:34:06 PM »

So this bloke offered me a second hand digital car radio with the volume stuck on full for a quid
Well I couldn't turn that down ! Xxxx

News:

Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 158676 times)