Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 155969 times)

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1150 on: March 17, 2022, 07:59:24 PM »
There is a new horror film out:

The Dyslexorcist.

Tagline reads: Your mother cooks socks in hell.
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1151 on: March 23, 2022, 07:00:54 PM »
Thanks everyone for your concern. Just to let you know .
First off, I'm OK though I was a bit shook up. If you don't already know, I was robbed at Tesco petrol station earlier this morning in Glasgow.                                                             
    After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Police.                 
They were quick to respond and calmed me down because my blood pressure went through the roof!                                                                                                                                       

My money's gone however, I wont get it back.
The police asked me if I knew who did it and I told them,                                                              "Yes, it was pump number 8

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1152 on: March 24, 2022, 11:22:56 AM »
Thanks everyone for your concern. Just to let you know .
First off, I'm OK though I was a bit shook up. If you don't already know, I was robbed at Tesco petrol station earlier this morning in Glasgow.                                                             
    After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Police.                 
They were quick to respond and calmed me down because my blood pressure went through the roof!                                                                                                                                       

My money's gone however, I wont get it back.
The police asked me if I knew who did it and I told them,                                                              "Yes, it was pump number 8

Sounds like a pump and dump scheme.
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1153 on: April 08, 2022, 08:52:44 AM »
Football is 90 minutes of pretending you are hurt, Rugby is 80 minutes of pretending you are not.
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1154 on: April 10, 2022, 05:16:46 PM »
The president of Russia has written a song about the wartime bombing of London. It's called "Putin on the Blitz".
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jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1155 on: April 12, 2022, 07:39:11 PM »
https://twitter.com/thatbloke_jesus/status/1513089575337574402?s=21&t=MlGiBHTM-mp_ygKZVqeWnQ

For people with screen readers, it’s a screenshot of a WhatsApp group called “The Twelve Disciples” and it goes like this:
Quote
Jesus: one of you will betray me today

Peter: not me Lord… who?

<< Judas Iscariot left the group >>
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1156 on: April 13, 2022, 10:31:32 AM »
I've got a joke about trickle-down economics.

But 99% of you won't get it.
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1157 on: April 13, 2022, 01:19:51 PM »
...

Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1158 on: April 21, 2022, 06:47:30 PM »
...
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1159 on: April 25, 2022, 12:33:13 PM »
I wonder who won the gay womens' six nations title.
When conspiracy nuts start spouting their bollocks, the best answer is "That's what they want you to think".

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1160 on: April 26, 2022, 07:23:01 PM »
...
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1161 on: April 29, 2022, 10:18:55 PM »
.

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1162 on: April 29, 2022, 10:57:36 PM »
Just seen that on Farcebook!
When conspiracy nuts start spouting their bollocks, the best answer is "That's what they want you to think".

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1163 on: April 30, 2022, 10:47:18 AM »
BLOODY ANGELA RAYNER!

She deliberately put trousers on knowing that the Tories would have to look at porn instead.

Typical Labour dirty tricks!
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1164 on: April 30, 2022, 11:22:20 AM »
BLOODY ANGELA RAYNER!

She deliberately put trousers on knowing that the Tories would have to look at porn instead.

Typical Labour dirty tricks!
Of course, whatever the Tories say, it's Angela Rayner who has to look at a twat during PMQs.
When conspiracy nuts start spouting their bollocks, the best answer is "That's what they want you to think".

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1165 on: May 01, 2022, 12:07:09 PM »

Ringo obviously just waiting for the drums to be brought round



Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1166 on: May 02, 2022, 09:07:31 AM »
Bono from U2 insists on purchasing non-branded confectionery.  He prefers to shop where the sweets have no name.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1167 on: May 06, 2022, 09:32:24 AM »
I went on a barging holiday. Didn't have a boat, I just kept pushing people into the canal.
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Walt Zingmatilder

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1168 on: May 06, 2022, 09:49:47 AM »
Bono from U2 insists on purchasing non-branded confectionery.  He prefers to shop where the sweets have no name.
He was rummaging through the Pick n'mix for over half an hour and when challenged by the assistant claimed he still hadn't found what he was looking for.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1169 on: May 11, 2022, 09:43:14 PM »
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1171 on: May 14, 2022, 07:16:48 PM »
...
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1172 on: May 14, 2022, 08:17:01 PM »
Michael Potillo has agreed to investigate how a recent fast food franchise can make all packages get placed in the bin and ready for recycling.
That's, Michael Portillo watches five guys handle their junk.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2022, 01:49:09 PM by SqueakyVoice »
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1173 on: May 15, 2022, 03:39:58 PM »
...
When conspiracy nuts start spouting their bollocks, the best answer is "That's what they want you to think".

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1174 on: May 21, 2022, 01:47:01 PM »
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