Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 155848 times)

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1275 on: December 01, 2022, 02:09:34 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1276 on: December 01, 2022, 03:09:17 PM »
I've decided to release a Christmas single
‘Duvet Know It’s Christmas?’

It's a cover version.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1277 on: December 01, 2022, 04:45:41 PM »
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1278 on: December 01, 2022, 04:55:33 PM »
I order four kindles from Amazon, and they sent me a two Ronnies DVD. Then I went to a bookshop and asked for a book on body-building. They suggested 'Frankenstein'.
When conspiracy nuts start spouting their bollocks, the best answer is "That's what they want you to think".

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1279 on: December 02, 2022, 07:31:56 AM »
I got an email explaining how to read maps backwards. It was spam.

bluehillside Retd.

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1280 on: December 02, 2022, 11:20:01 AM »
I lost my job as a fortune teller today because all I ever predicted was cold winters.

Turned out the crystal ball shop had sold me a snow globe…

(Gary Delaney)
"Don't make me come down there."

God

SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1281 on: December 12, 2022, 08:33:49 AM »
I used to worry sheep.
I'd sidle up to them and say, 'There isn't a god."

(C) Sean Lock
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Walt Zingmatilder

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1282 on: December 12, 2022, 09:29:19 AM »
I used to worry sheep.
I'd sidle up to them and say, 'There isn't a god."

(C) Sean Lock
Apparently Sean Lock told his manager he couldn't perform because he felt a little funny. His manager told him to get on stage before it wore off.

SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1283 on: December 12, 2022, 09:40:13 PM »
I found a new book.Covid-19; How Bat shit crazy went viral.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2022, 10:22:14 PM by SqueakyVoice »
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1284 on: December 14, 2022, 10:50:01 AM »
We need more Bible jokes.

After ten years of friendship, Bob told me his real name was John of Patmos.

That was a revelation.

This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1285 on: December 14, 2022, 05:24:35 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1286 on: December 14, 2022, 05:51:26 PM »

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1287 on: December 23, 2022, 11:48:46 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1288 on: December 24, 2022, 07:17:25 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1289 on: December 25, 2022, 03:13:54 PM »
Got the missus  a prosthetic leg for Xmas. It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1290 on: December 25, 2022, 03:39:33 PM »
Washington Post's MENSA chapter asked its members to choose one word from Webster’s; replace one letter, and then provide a new definition to it. These are the top winners.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1291 on: December 26, 2022, 09:07:02 PM »
Very niche joke

SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1292 on: December 26, 2022, 09:33:09 PM »
Washington Post's MENSA chapter asked its members to choose one word from Webster’s; replace one letter, and then provide a new definition to it.
Podant, a person with excessive concerns on the details and rules of a podcast.
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1293 on: December 26, 2022, 10:09:49 PM »
Podant, a person with excessive concerns on the details and rules of a podcast.

Surely that should be a person with an excessive interest in feet.
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1294 on: December 27, 2022, 11:41:05 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1295 on: December 27, 2022, 01:16:57 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1296 on: December 28, 2022, 02:07:57 PM »



'I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.'

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1297 on: December 31, 2022, 05:36:12 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1298 on: January 02, 2023, 05:30:36 PM »
'I heard recently that police broke up an illegal Botox party at a neighbour's house.
None of the guests looked surprised!'

SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1299 on: January 02, 2023, 09:25:05 PM »
Very niche joke
Too niche for me - please explain.
When conspiracy nuts start spouting their bollocks, the best answer is "That's what they want you to think".