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Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 159380 times)

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1275 on: December 01, 2022, 02:09:34 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1276 on: December 01, 2022, 03:09:17 PM »
I've decided to release a Christmas single
‘Duvet Know It’s Christmas?’

It's a cover version.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1277 on: December 01, 2022, 04:45:41 PM »
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1278 on: December 01, 2022, 04:55:33 PM »
I order four kindles from Amazon, and they sent me a two Ronnies DVD. Then I went to a bookshop and asked for a book on body-building. They suggested 'Frankenstein'.
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I have a pet termite. His name is Clint. Clint eats wood.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1279 on: December 02, 2022, 07:31:56 AM »
I got an email explaining how to read maps backwards. It was spam.
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bluehillside Retd.

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1280 on: December 02, 2022, 11:20:01 AM »
I lost my job as a fortune teller today because all I ever predicted was cold winters.

Turned out the crystal ball shop had sold me a snow globe…

(Gary Delaney)
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1281 on: December 12, 2022, 08:33:49 AM »
I used to worry sheep.
I'd sidle up to them and say, 'There isn't a god."

(C) Sean Lock
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"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Walt Zingmatilder

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1282 on: December 12, 2022, 09:29:19 AM »
Quote from: SqueakyVoice on December 12, 2022, 08:33:49 AM
I used to worry sheep.
I'd sidle up to them and say, 'There isn't a god."

(C) Sean Lock
Apparently Sean Lock told his manager he couldn't perform because he felt a little funny. His manager told him to get on stage before it wore off.
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1283 on: December 12, 2022, 09:40:13 PM »
I found a new book.Covid-19; How Bat shit crazy went viral.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2022, 10:22:14 PM by SqueakyVoice »
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"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1284 on: December 14, 2022, 10:50:01 AM »
We need more Bible jokes.

After ten years of friendship, Bob told me his real name was John of Patmos.

That was a revelation.

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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1285 on: December 14, 2022, 05:24:35 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1286 on: December 14, 2022, 05:51:26 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1287 on: December 23, 2022, 11:48:46 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1288 on: December 24, 2022, 07:17:25 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1289 on: December 25, 2022, 03:13:54 PM »
Got the missus  a prosthetic leg for Xmas. It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1290 on: December 25, 2022, 03:39:33 PM »
Washington Post's MENSA chapter asked its members to choose one word from Webster’s; replace one letter, and then provide a new definition to it. These are the top winners.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1291 on: December 26, 2022, 09:07:02 PM »
Very niche joke
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1292 on: December 26, 2022, 09:33:09 PM »
Quote from: Nearly Sane on December 25, 2022, 03:39:33 PM
Washington Post's MENSA chapter asked its members to choose one word from Webster’s; replace one letter, and then provide a new definition to it.
Podant, a person with excessive concerns on the details and rules of a podcast.
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1293 on: December 26, 2022, 10:09:49 PM »
Quote from: SqueakyVoice on December 26, 2022, 09:33:09 PM
Podant, a person with excessive concerns on the details and rules of a podcast.

Surely that should be a person with an excessive interest in feet.
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1294 on: December 27, 2022, 11:41:05 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1295 on: December 27, 2022, 01:16:57 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1296 on: December 28, 2022, 02:07:57 PM »



'I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.'
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1297 on: December 31, 2022, 05:36:12 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1298 on: January 02, 2023, 05:30:36 PM »
'I heard recently that police broke up an illegal Botox party at a neighbour's house.
None of the guests looked surprised!'
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SteveH

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1299 on: January 02, 2023, 09:25:05 PM »
Quote from: Nearly Sane on December 26, 2022, 09:07:02 PM
Very niche joke
Too niche for me - please explain.
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I have a pet termite. His name is Clint. Clint eats wood.
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