Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 145409 times)

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1325 on: January 26, 2023, 04:52:25 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1326 on: January 27, 2023, 12:49:29 AM »
I met this girl at a party. She said people called her Vivaldi. I asked, "Is that because you're a brilliant violinist?" She said, "No, it's because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi."

SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1327 on: January 27, 2023, 09:36:16 AM »
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Sebastian Toe

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1328 on: January 28, 2023, 12:56:27 PM »
A woman is accused of assaulting her husband with his guitar collection.

The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"

The woman replies, "No, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1329 on: January 30, 2023, 10:08:38 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1330 on: January 31, 2023, 09:45:47 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1331 on: January 31, 2023, 09:05:36 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1332 on: January 31, 2023, 09:42:37 PM »
'Just read a book about a detective that solves crimes purely by chance.

Sheerluck Holmes.'

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1333 on: January 31, 2023, 11:41:53 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1334 on: February 02, 2023, 01:42:18 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1335 on: February 04, 2023, 09:49:22 AM »
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1336 on: February 04, 2023, 10:57:13 AM »
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Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

SqueakyVoice

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"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1338 on: February 05, 2023, 11:31:06 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1339 on: February 06, 2023, 10:41:24 AM »
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SqueakyVoice

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1340 on: February 07, 2023, 08:53:43 AM »
Dear Sirs,
Have you ever noticed that Andrew Bridgen MP looks exactly like that Jazz guy from the Fast Show?

Nice
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1341 on: February 07, 2023, 09:41:44 AM »
This dog is called Liz:

Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1342 on: February 08, 2023, 11:31:44 AM »
Did you hear about the guy who evaporated?

Hell be mist.
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1343 on: February 10, 2023, 11:39:34 AM »
Having a chat with a bloke over a pint in my local last night.
I discovered he was worth around £4 million and he told me the amazing story of how he got so rich.
Basically when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell.
He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time.
He left school at 15 and bought an old series Land Rover and spent a few weeks fixing it up, he then sold it for profit.
He then used the money to buy another and so on.
He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again.
He eventually moved onto Defenders in the 90's and then onto Range Rovers in the last eight or nine years.
Even during the real bad times he plugged away.
He worked long hours as you do in the Land Rover trade, sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days in pursuit of his goal.

Then his uncle died and left him £4 million.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1344 on: February 10, 2023, 08:39:17 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1345 on: February 10, 2023, 10:04:36 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1346 on: February 14, 2023, 08:03:42 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1347 on: February 15, 2023, 10:02:28 AM »
It's a grey day so

https://youtu.be/fFI5Jl_IqsE

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1348 on: February 15, 2023, 10:22:33 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1349 on: February 15, 2023, 11:42:43 AM »
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