Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 194916 times)

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33307
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1350 on: February 15, 2023, 12:59:00 PM »
Dear Sirs,
Have you ever noticed that Andrew Bridgen MP looks exactly like that Jazz guy from the Fast Show?Nice

Is it part of the joke that the captions are the wrong way around.
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1351 on: February 17, 2023, 04:11:44 PM »
.

Aruntraveller

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11616
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1352 on: February 17, 2023, 08:43:52 PM »
I made a graph of all the past relationships I've had.

It had an ex axis and a why axis.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1353 on: February 18, 2023, 10:57:36 PM »
Peter Ustinov and Dudley Moore improvise opera


https://youtu.be/R-JRE9K0zWU

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1354 on: February 19, 2023, 06:38:47 PM »
.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1355 on: February 19, 2023, 06:39:18 PM »
.

SqueakyVoice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2548
  • from God, "We apologise for the inconvenience."
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1356 on: February 20, 2023, 08:10:00 AM »
I was trying to buy a self-driving car. I kept looking and looking then started saving and saving and got so obsessed that in the end I was told, 'Don't push it.'

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1357 on: February 20, 2023, 04:10:27 PM »
.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1358 on: February 21, 2023, 11:37:12 AM »
.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1359 on: February 21, 2023, 08:45:07 PM »
.

Steve H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11020
  • God? She's black.
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1360 on: February 21, 2023, 10:58:24 PM »
Is it part of the joke that the captions are the wrong way around.
Don't you read 'Private Eye'?
"That bloke over there, out of Ultravox, is really childish."
"Him? Midge Ure?"
"Yes, very."

Steve H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11020
  • God? She's black.
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1361 on: February 21, 2023, 11:03:59 PM »
Job interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?
Interviewee: No, but I can have a go at Bohemian Rhapsody, if you like.
"That bloke over there, out of Ultravox, is really childish."
"Him? Midge Ure?"
"Yes, very."

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1362 on: February 22, 2023, 09:28:23 AM »
.

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33307
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1363 on: February 22, 2023, 01:33:11 PM »
Don't you read 'Private Eye'?

You could have saved some keystrokes by writing "yes".
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

SqueakyVoice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2548
  • from God, "We apologise for the inconvenience."
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1364 on: February 23, 2023, 06:43:56 PM »
I had an opticians appointment last week. They really made me open my eyes.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1365 on: February 24, 2023, 08:43:01 PM »
.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1366 on: February 25, 2023, 11:13:24 AM »
.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1367 on: March 03, 2023, 09:40:43 AM »
I've got a new job working shift work making chess sets.

I'm on Knights next week.

Aruntraveller

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11616
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1368 on: March 03, 2023, 07:11:02 PM »
...
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1369 on: March 04, 2023, 08:47:41 AM »
.

SqueakyVoice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2548
  • from God, "We apologise for the inconvenience."
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1370 on: March 05, 2023, 04:07:02 PM »
Quote from: SLee
the Conservatives decided families with more than two children shouldn’t have extra child benefits. But children are expensive. Boris Johnson has at least seven and was finding it difficult to make ends meet on his prime minister’s salary of £164,951.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/05/brexit-has-reversed-the-brains-of-sunak-and-starmer
Oh, and he's trying to buy a new house (with a moat) for £5million.

Aruntraveller

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11616
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1371 on: March 08, 2023, 06:19:39 PM »
..
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1372 on: March 10, 2023, 10:33:25 AM »
.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1373 on: March 11, 2023, 09:42:10 AM »
.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 65796
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1374 on: March 11, 2023, 12:28:18 PM »
.