« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 54 55 [56] 57 58 ... 84   Go Down

Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 145386 times)

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1375 on: March 12, 2023, 05:15:17 PM »
.
Logged

SqueakyVoice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2436
  • Life. Don't talk to me about life.
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1376 on: March 13, 2023, 09:12:20 PM »
Now the World Taekwondo Federation are struggling to use their abbreviation.
Logged
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1377 on: March 14, 2023, 07:09:24 PM »
Scientists announced today that research shows one particular food item which greatly reduces the sex drive.



It's called wedding cake!
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1378 on: March 14, 2023, 10:57:20 PM »
I got home from work to find that my kids have been on eBay all day.


If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the price.
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1379 on: March 18, 2023, 08:56:24 AM »
.
Logged

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1380 on: March 18, 2023, 11:15:18 AM »
.
Logged

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1381 on: March 18, 2023, 12:04:12 PM »
.
Logged

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1382 on: March 18, 2023, 08:52:12 PM »
This price inflation is starting to hit home.
I've started to use old newspapers instead of toilet roll.

Times are rough!
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1383 on: March 19, 2023, 03:22:11 AM »
What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A Labracadabrador.
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Aruntraveller

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10859
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1384 on: March 25, 2023, 12:06:42 PM »
Sid James and June Whitifeld (I think) from a Carry on film:

Vic Flange: Oh. Don't drink?
Evelyn Blunt: No, I tried it once and didn't like it.
Vic Flange: Smoke?
Evelyn Blunt: I tried it once and didn't like it.
Vic Flange: Strange.
Evelyn Blunt: Not at all, my daughter is just the same.
Vic Flange: Your only child, I presume!
Logged
Before we work on Artificial Intelligence shouldn't we address the problem of natural stupidity.

Walt Zingmatilder

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33025
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1385 on: March 25, 2023, 01:40:59 PM »
Quote from: Sebastian Toe on March 19, 2023, 03:22:11 AM
What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A Labracadabrador.
It's magic innit?
Logged

SqueakyVoice

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2436
  • Life. Don't talk to me about life.
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1386 on: March 26, 2023, 11:04:40 AM »
Quote from: Sebastian Toe on March 19, 2023, 03:22:11 AM
What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A Labracadabrador.
What do you call a dog that can do magic and draw?.

A Labracadbradoodle.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2023, 09:32:07 AM by SqueakyVoice »
Logged
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - D Adams

SteveH

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10077
  • God? She's black.
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1387 on: March 26, 2023, 04:56:40 PM »
Don't get NS's one about yellow paint.
Logged
When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1388 on: March 26, 2023, 05:57:36 PM »
Quote from: SteveH on March 26, 2023, 04:56:40 PM
Don't get NS's one about yellow paint.
Epson printers won't print anything if one of the containers is empty even if the empty one is not required!
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1389 on: March 26, 2023, 06:08:49 PM »
Spring is here l, the clocks have gone forward.

I got so excited, I wet my plants!
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1390 on: March 26, 2023, 06:14:01 PM »
The SNP leadership election lead me to this

https://youtu.be/e9IvMzZFPxM
Logged

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1391 on: March 26, 2023, 06:24:06 PM »
Robin: Batman, the batmobile won't start.

Batman: Have you checked the battery?

Robin: What is a tery?
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1392 on: March 28, 2023, 05:04:11 PM »
.
Logged

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1393 on: March 31, 2023, 02:25:22 AM »
I've been asked to lay new turf on a field for a civil war re-enactment battle…
Sod that for a game of soldiers!
Logged

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63236
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1394 on: April 05, 2023, 11:38:30 PM »
Vincent Price is taller than Alan Price. Who is heavier than Katie Price. As I discovered on this Price comparison website
Logged

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1395 on: April 06, 2023, 11:54:59 PM »
We have new puppy who we named Minton.

Today he chewed all of my good shuttlecocks!

BAD Minton.
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

jeremyp

  • Admin Support
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32019
  • Blurb
    • Sincere Flattery: A blog about computing
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1396 on: April 07, 2023, 02:21:37 PM »
Quote from: Nearly Sane on April 05, 2023, 11:38:30 PM
Vincent Price is taller than Alan Price. Who is heavier than Katie Price. As I discovered on this Price comparison website

There was a time when Jordan was featured in the tabloids almost constantly. In fact, if you can find a rare edition of the Sun without her, it's priceless.
Logged
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1397 on: April 07, 2023, 05:06:28 PM »
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

Sebastian Toe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7686
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1398 on: April 07, 2023, 05:12:39 PM »
People say that circumcision doesn't hurt but I disagree.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn't walk for over a year.
Logged
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

SteveH

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10077
  • God? She's black.
Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1399 on: April 07, 2023, 08:55:55 PM »
From the Book of Faces:
"...wetter than Stormy Daniels' fun box."
« Last Edit: April 07, 2023, 11:10:16 PM by SteveH »
Logged
When politicians talk about making tough decisions, they mean tough for us, not for them.
Pages: 1 ... 54 55 [56] 57 58 ... 84   Go Up
« previous next »