Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 159494 times)

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1475 on:** July 03, 2023, 11:34:50 AM »

My wife just asked if I knew any Wimbledon jokes.

I replied 'No, they are really not my forte, love'

Stranger · « **Reply #1476 on:** July 07, 2023, 09:06:43 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1477 on:** July 08, 2023, 09:50:37 PM »

SteveH · « **Reply #1478 on:** July 10, 2023, 10:14:26 AM »

Charlie Watts's book collection is to be auctioned. It consists mainly of modern fiction. Presumably, though, it doesn't contain 'Labyrinth' by Kate Mosse. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-66121572

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1479 on:** July 10, 2023, 10:53:29 AM »

jeremyp · « **Reply #1480 on:** July 10, 2023, 04:21:11 PM »

Quote from: SteveH on July 10, 2023, 10:14:26 AM

Charlie Watts's book collection is to be auctioned. It consists mainly of modern fiction. Presumably, though, it doesn't contain 'Labyrinth' by Kate Mosse. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-66121572

I had to work at that one.

SteveH · « **Reply #1481 on:** July 10, 2023, 04:53:27 PM »

Quote from: jeremyp on July 10, 2023, 04:21:11 PM

I had to work at that one.

I deliberately made it cryptic, because when you finally get it, it's funnier.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1482 on:** July 11, 2023, 02:28:10 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1483 on:** July 11, 2023, 03:11:30 PM »

SteveH · « **Reply #1484 on:** July 19, 2023, 05:38:56 PM »

I had my leg X-rayed and the doctor said, "Your patella measures 2.54cm"
I said: "Inch-high knees?"
He said: '您的髌骨是厘米高.'

jeremyp · « **Reply #1485 on:** July 19, 2023, 05:42:00 PM »

Quote from: SteveH on July 19, 2023, 05:38:56 PM

I had my leg X-rayed and the doctor said, "Your patella measures 2.54cm"
I said: "Inch-high knees?"
He said: '您的髌骨是厘米高.'

Google tells me that is "your patella is cm tall". I think you need 你的髌骨高2.54厘米

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1486 on:** July 22, 2023, 01:09:21 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1487 on:** July 23, 2023, 09:22:11 PM »

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1488 on:** July 24, 2023, 02:21:51 PM »

Calling yourself non-binary categorizes everyone into binary or non-binary, creating a binary system which makes you binary again.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1489 on:** July 26, 2023, 05:48:37 PM »

SteveH · « **Reply #1490 on:** July 26, 2023, 06:07:42 PM »

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange fizzy pop.
It was a Fanta sea.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1491 on:** July 27, 2023, 01:42:42 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1492 on:** July 28, 2023, 04:25:26 PM »

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1493 on:** July 31, 2023, 07:55:09 PM »

Do you know how rare it is for a cow to be struck by lightning?

Medium rare

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1494 on:** August 01, 2023, 09:38:18 AM »

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1495 on:** August 01, 2023, 02:07:43 PM »

So many people lining up to see the new Margot Robbie movie. Which is fair enough. After all, summertime is…

Barbie queue season

SteveH · « **Reply #1496 on:** August 01, 2023, 03:24:49 PM »

If you chuck a Barbie on the barbie, will it get burnt to a Sindy?

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1497 on:** August 01, 2023, 03:44:34 PM »

Quote from: SteveH on August 01, 2023, 03:24:49 PM

If you chuck a Barbie on the barbie, will it get burnt to a Sindy?

Ah dinnae ken.

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1498 on:** August 02, 2023, 05:06:21 PM »

I have always wondered, do gun manuals have a troubleshooting section?

SteveH · « **Reply #1499 on:** August 02, 2023, 05:21:24 PM »

Quote from: Aruntraveller on August 02, 2023, 05:06:21 PM

I have always wondered, do gun manuals have a troubleshooting section?

I don't know, but knife manuals don't any more - it's been cut.

News:

Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 159494 times)