Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 159503 times)

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1526 on:** August 22, 2023, 08:36:00 AM »

The best jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-66569215

jeremyp · « **Reply #1527 on:** August 22, 2023, 09:29:26 AM »

Quote from: Nearly Sane on August 22, 2023, 08:36:00 AM

The best jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-66569215

The winner was actually a bit of a groaner. My favourite is

Quote from: WilliamStone

Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1528 on:** August 22, 2023, 02:20:41 PM »

And some past winners

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-49394802

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1529 on:** August 22, 2023, 06:01:01 PM »

Pie anyone?

SteveH · « **Reply #1530 on:** August 22, 2023, 07:23:00 PM »

Musicians as children.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1531 on:** August 23, 2023, 07:41:12 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1532 on:** August 24, 2023, 02:03:49 PM »

Sebastian Toe · « **Reply #1533 on:** August 25, 2023, 06:15:01 PM »

I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said,
“You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”

I'm still trying to figure out why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

SteveH · « **Reply #1534 on:** August 26, 2023, 10:18:42 AM »

As murderer George Appel was strapped into the electric chair in 1928, his last words were "Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel".

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1535 on:** August 26, 2023, 11:22:45 AM »

Quote from: SteveH on August 26, 2023, 10:18:42 AM

As murderer George Appel was strapped into the electric chair in 1928, his last words were "Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel".

Later that year serial killer Sam Potato complained that his Roast Potato joke would just be seen as a rip off.

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1536 on:** August 26, 2023, 04:43:26 PM »

I went out and bought so many Dracula dolls, I lost Count.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1537 on:** August 27, 2023, 10:35:59 AM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1538 on:** August 27, 2023, 04:58:24 PM »

SteveH · « **Reply #1539 on:** August 27, 2023, 05:04:28 PM »

Not a lot of people know this, but Maggie Thatcher had a glass eye. It was the one with a gleam of humanity in it.

SteveH · « **Reply #1540 on:** August 27, 2023, 05:18:49 PM »

"You don't need a degree in applied bollocks to know what's going on" - DCI Gene Hunt, 'Life On Mars', S2, E6. (Not exactly a joke, but it made me laugh.)

SteveH · « **Reply #1541 on:** August 27, 2023, 05:35:10 PM »

"Couldn't catch the clap in a French brothel" - ibid.

SteveH · « **Reply #1542 on:** August 27, 2023, 05:41:49 PM »

"She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot" - ibid.

jeremyp · « **Reply #1543 on:** August 29, 2023, 10:46:50 AM »

Quote from: Nearly Sane on August 26, 2023, 11:22:45 AM

Later that year serial killer Sam Potato complained that his Roast Potato joke would just be seen as a rip off.

Mass murderer Alan Aska was none too pleased also.

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1544 on:** August 30, 2023, 08:41:01 AM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1545 on:** August 30, 2023, 01:52:17 PM »

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.

jeremyp · « **Reply #1546 on:** August 30, 2023, 03:21:15 PM »

Quote from: Aruntraveller on August 30, 2023, 08:41:01 AM

...

I think FFS Go should really be under Dorries.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1547 on:** August 30, 2023, 06:43:41 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1548 on:** August 30, 2023, 10:18:41 PM »

SteveH · « **Reply #1549 on:** August 30, 2023, 10:49:43 PM »

News:

Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 159503 times)