Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 194956 times)

Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1825 on: March 07, 2024, 05:37:28 PM »
You probably have heard the song.

This is it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQbiNvZqaY
Thanks. I've heard it now, and certainly remember hearing it back then but I didn't pay any attention to the lyrics.
"That bloke over there, out of Ultravox, is really childish."
"Him? Midge Ure?"
"Yes, very."

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1826 on: March 10, 2024, 08:25:23 AM »


I was walking past a pet shop. A sign on the shop front said; 'Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale!

I didn't believe they were from the Netherlands so I went into the shop and asked the assistant...

'How Dutch is that moggie in the window?'

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1827 on: March 10, 2024, 12:50:39 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1828 on: March 10, 2024, 01:25:47 PM »
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Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1829 on: March 11, 2024, 08:42:28 AM »
Always keep your secretaries well sharpened.
"That bloke over there, out of Ultravox, is really childish."
"Him? Midge Ure?"
"Yes, very."

Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1830 on: March 11, 2024, 09:03:32 AM »
Merry Christmas!
"That bloke over there, out of Ultravox, is really childish."
"Him? Midge Ure?"
"Yes, very."

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1831 on: March 12, 2024, 10:09:00 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1832 on: March 13, 2024, 06:14:17 PM »
Staff Relies On Corporate Team-Building Skills While Disposing Of CEO’s Body

https://www.theonion.com/staff-relies-on-corporate-team-building-skills-while-di-1851320130

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1833 on: March 14, 2024, 12:14:15 PM »
My Disney+ account developed a glitch where it would only show Pixar movies. I thought I’d fixed it, but now it’s playing Up again.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1834 on: March 15, 2024, 10:03:39 AM »
A classic for the day

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1835 on: March 15, 2024, 11:31:48 AM »
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1836 on: March 16, 2024, 10:36:43 AM »
 If you remove all of the consonants from Celine Dion's name, you're left with the lyrics for "Old McDonald Had a Farm"
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1837 on: March 19, 2024, 06:50:08 AM »
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"That bloke over there, out of Ultravox, is really childish."
"Him? Midge Ure?"
"Yes, very."

Walt Zingmatilder

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1838 on: March 19, 2024, 01:20:19 PM »
I still ask my newsagent if he stocks the Dandy knowing full well that the answer will beano.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1839 on: March 20, 2024, 08:53:45 AM »
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« Last Edit: March 20, 2024, 10:45:51 AM by Nearly Sane »

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1840 on: March 20, 2024, 02:20:12 PM »
Accidentally put my phone in airplane mode. Got in the car and the door fell off!

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1841 on: March 20, 2024, 09:28:58 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1842 on: March 21, 2024, 05:32:46 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1843 on: March 22, 2024, 10:11:08 AM »
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Outrider

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1844 on: March 22, 2024, 10:28:52 AM »
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Did anyone else appreciate the subtlety of not being able to determine if that was a boast or an accusation? Always good to come across nuanced humour...

O.
Universes are forever, not just for creation...

New Atheism - because, apparently, there's a use-by date on unanswered questions.

Eminent Pedant, Interpreter of Heretical Writings, Unwarranted Harvester of Trite Nomenclature, Church of Debatable Saints

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1845 on: March 22, 2024, 05:34:46 PM »
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Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1846 on: March 26, 2024, 08:35:19 AM »
Don't say it.

Try not to say it.

I told you do not say it.

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1847 on: March 26, 2024, 08:41:53 AM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1848 on: March 27, 2024, 09:57:59 PM »
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Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #1849 on: March 28, 2024, 04:05:53 PM »
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