The tone coming out of Brussels is that they want the UK to still be a part of the framing of Europe and to work with them. Things have changed for the EU, not just the UK leaving, but the voices within the EU who are saying it is not working and needs to change. This is why they want a quick negotiation with the UK so that they can stabilize things and stop others from having referendums, and to claim that the UK is a special case. Your attitude is from the past and is void of content.
Of course they want us to continue trading with them - but
they won't be doing us any favours - if they did, as you have pointed out, groups in other countries would be planning the same thing.
Right now there is great uncertainty and that is fuelling all the damaging activity on the stock exchange and money markets. The longer this goes on the worse it will be for us. The EU are not suffering to anything like the same extent. They can afford to put an offer on the table and let us sweat it out.
My guess it that that offer won't be significantly different from Norway's.