I am stunned that a Ph.D. psychologist could have written such an awfully harsh article.
Begin:
Self-absorbed individuals typically don’t show much concern about anyone or anything outside their (narrow) self-interest. As such, they typically make little effort to understand others’ thoughts and feelings. And overly focused on themselves, they can easily miss the mark when they try to. (In other words, they generally don’t make the best of friends.) Obviously, paying attention to our wants and needs is appropriate, even necessary. But whether we’re feeling extremely bad or nervous about ourselves, worriedly ruminating about how others perceive us, or indulging in grandiose thoughts about our "specialness," we’re descending into a state of toxic self-absorption. And as a personality trait, attending excessively to ourselves—and at the expense of almost all other considerations—is typically regarded not only as abnormal, but as kind of unethical, too [.....] But what’s most fascinating to me here is that I haven’t seen discussed by writers on the subject just how many psychological dysfunctions can be accurately understood as “maladies” of self-absorption. From a variety of phobic, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive impairments, to many depressive disturbances (including bipolar disorder), to various addictions, to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and to most of the personality disorders, self-absorption can be seen as playing a major (if not dominant) role.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/comment/865086#comment-865086Here is one good reply from the comments section.
I understand the point of this article, but it seems awfully harsh to me. We are culturally blind to any sort of mental suffering in this country. There's very little help and a stigma of shame can be attached to asking for help. Our cultural message is
"get over it" and this seems to reinforce that attitude. Life events such as death, betrayal, divorce, losing a job, abuse, addictions - all kinds of losses & difficulties may plunge otherwise non-self-absorbed people into a season of anxiety & depression from which they eventually emerge. But they may need that season to heal. It seems to me a kinder, gentler societal approach would be more helpful - not a "don't be so self-absorbed" message.