I think Nick's on to something. Here's my take on it all.
God was relaxing in Heaven, a beautiful place with no problems or worries, and he's sitting on a beautiful beach, gazing up at the clouds. He suddenly has an idea "Why am I sitting here all alone when I could have a relationship with 4 or 5 million people!"
So he decides on a scheme ... "I'll hurtle these clouds together and it is bound to cause a great big bang, This will in turn cause tons and tons of dynamic energy to create a universe, and within a few billion years, stars will form, trillions of them. I'll name them all and pick out a tiny planet revolving around one of them and that's where I'll start my ambitious project".
So he does this and soon after (well, over 9000000000 years later) life forms and 4000000000 years after that, Man arrives. God looks at his creation and he's well pleased.
There are 'soon' millions of people around but they're doing all sorts of naughty things ... so he drowns that lot and starts again. Shortly after, when there are billions of people there, he realises they are still being naughty. "I know what I'll do, I'll pick some little 14 yearold girl and make her pregnant and then I'll have a beautiful baby son" He does the wicked deed and he is so proud! "You're a real chip off the old block, JC!"
Then when JC is bigger, he thinks "I know, I'll have him nailed up and that will make all the sins of that rabble be washed away forever"
He does it and then after his lad has been dead for three days, he brings him round and shortly after takes him up to Heaven to sit at his feet.
Then when the Internet arrives, he sends Sparky and TW, Sassy and Vlad to bore the pants off everyone ... and he is well pleased with his work.
He is getting a bit fed up now though with millions of the little sods asking him favours every night so he's decided these will be the last days and so he dug a gigantic hole and filled it with burning sulphur - for all those who don't believe in him ... and then he launched Wormwood to sort everyone out.
The End