Pretty much. Let's say 'I voted to leave to avoid fascism' - which is actually a viewpoint I've been given. Then voting to stay then means for that person either that I want fascism, or that I am too stupid to get that I am voting for it. We need to have a discussion with those we disagree with on specifics, while acknowledging that in terms of the general, such as feeding children, we might be in common ground. As soon as we bring up something and say we voted for i t, the implication is that the other vote is against that.
Your last sentence is something that you've made up.
Voting is like backing a horse in a race. As Trent says, I might vote Labour because I think they will protect the NHS. OTOH someone could vote Tory, very sincerely, because they believe that wealth creation is essential for increased tax take to fund the NHS. Only when the race is run do we get to see who is right. So when I say that I've voted for security for my kids (food security, job security, whatever) that doesn't mean I think that Leavers didn't; in all likelihood we've backed different horses to deliver the same thing.
As a single mother my concerns are very often framed by the basics of providing what my family needs. That doesn't mean to say that I think that people who vote differently to me don't have the same concerns; we've all looked at what is in front of us and made what we believe to be the best choices. Which is why I find it so frustrating that Ippy won't explain his choices; understanding his POV actually humanises the debate. Understanding that my friend from Grimsby has seen local jobs go to the wall gives a very human dimension to his decision to vote Leave and in doing so he isn't 'othering' me. I believe that the remaining jobs that we have are better protected within the EU. He doesn't. Only time will tell. And I have friends of the older generation who look at how the EU has been run and who believe that
that is likely to cause a rise in fascism and who voted Leave on that basis. Again, only history will tell which is correct.
Some people on this forum have very strident opinions for or against religion. Because we've been posting together for a long time now there have been moments when the human story behind the reasons for those opinions has been stated, often quietly, tucked away. There have been a fair few posts on this forum that have been 'aha!' moments in that regard, and I hope that just sometimes I'm more tolerant of others because I understand why they are in one camp or the other, so to speak. What I am trying to say here is that stating one's reasons for voting a particular way is, or should be, the very opposite of othering. What parent or grandparent wouldn't understand a desire for food security? If Ippy told me that (for example) he felt that the children in this country would have better long-term security outside of the EU and give his reasons, I might not agree with him, but we would actually have common ground rather than mutual incomprehension. 'Othering' is not listening, not seeking to understand - the very opposite of what I and others are trying to do. If we don't state mutually our reasons and our fears we will never find common ground and a way to move forward.