It is a mess now and something needs to give somewhere and the situation might well change yet.
It seems Labour may now back another referendum, but even then one view is that is shouldn't include an 'abandon Brexit' option, when that must surely be an option. The 'respect the referendum' argument is now a weak one in my view: the referendum occurred for the wrong reasons and backfired, and it was for an 'idea' of Brexit that had no accompanying details and the absence of any meaningful details over two years later, along with the shambles of the current government, does indicate that the outcome of the referendum was a poor one, since otherwise we'd have had a deliverable plan long since - and we don't. It isn't undemocratic to revisit a flawed decision provided the revisit is done democratically.
The Northern Ireland situation will be problematic for as long as the DUP are keeping the Tories in power and any attempt to find a fudge there will be doomed to failure, and with Stormont down a large chunk of the NI electorate have no active political representation which is an affront after all this time. The only option in my view is to contrive a General Election and see where the cards fall then - but of course that is uncertain too (even if it is democratic) and the awaited legal opinion on whether or not Article 50 can be cancelled is another factor.
I find it hard to imagine that those who voted 'Leave' voted for the current mess.