People pleaser's.

[Sassy]

Whether politics or religion even every subject under the sun there is always people pleaser's.
Thankfully, I don't subscribe to that point of view.

'Honesty',  played an integral part in the views I have about most things.
This includes people.
As a child, I watched as people include and excluded for many reasons from groups and even the everyday friendships.
I was blessed to be one of 9 children there was nowhere to be alone in our house but the toilet. And even there people
would often mither knocking on the door and asking " Have you finished yet"  Like as if, the door would still be shut and you
sitting on the toilet if you had.

My mother was not one for going along with the crowd, she taught us to think for ourselves.
We did not get involved with people who were one day your friend and the next off to new pastures and your enemy.
You get what you give so reap what you sow. That includes holes in your clothes if ducking under barbwire fences on farms where you weren't suppose to be and showing your knickers if wearing a dress. So many times as children we would spend time where we weren't suppose to be. It was my big sister's fault. They took us where we were not suppose to go. My excuse and I am sticking to it.    Cut a long story short, never like people using others to get to you. Dumped boyfriends who tried to make
me jealous very immature. Did not make friends with those who treated others badly or mocked others for all sorts of reasons in school.

I just loved straight forward people. People who were not planning how to get reactions from you.
Who accepted you for what and who you were. I hate games that humans play with each other in relationships whether platonic or otherwise. I am not people pleaser. I love uncomplicated and straightforward thinkers.
You set your boundaries if they go beyond you end it.  I know nothing is perfect in life but the simple thinking and good natured fun loving people are the best because they cause so little problems for you.


I find the world now is full of how to get the response you want from others. Be it voters, customers, or even selling a product.
#What do you think about 'people pleasing and manipulation'? Is the human so superficial it can be steered to think and buy
things it really doesn't want or ever needed?

Do you think relationships formed on 'making someone react' really have a sound basis?

I am contemplating these things. My youngest Son will be 21 tomorrow. I was thinking back to when I was 21 and working.
The lads and lassies I worked with celebrated with me. I took a massive cake in and we went to the pub at lunchtime.
I had a social life and also did ballroom and latin american dancing two nights a week.
My son is computer mad, has friends and is great on computers and gaming.
Tomorrow his Father will take us out for Lunch as he my son hates fuss.
I want so much more for him at this age than I did myself.  The world is so different to when I was 21.
People pleasers are in full force now.   Have you experienced the affect of them?

[Aruntraveller]

I think there is a difference between people pleasers and manipulators.

If it is within your power to please people in some way why would you not do that? In fact I would say that in my work it is one of the things that helps get things done.

Manipulation as practiced by politicians and others is another matter.

I note today the Daily Mail praising May's promise of some kind of cap on fuel prices. Odd then that a very similar policy by Ed Milliband at the last election was derided by the self same newspaper as a return of the loony left or some such tommy rot. That is manipulation of voters minds, and should always be resisted.

Mind you as a rule of thumb you can usually expect every article written in the Mail to indulge in some level of manipulation/hypocrisy.

[floo]

I think trying to do what is right, and if by doing so you help others  that is good. I would never do anything just to make me popular, or would I be swept along by the crowd.

[Robbie]

Well said floo.
You can't trust people who agree with the last person they talk to - once you've witnessed them doing it, it can take time to realise.
People pleasers are shallow folk.
Ad - I mean adult people, youngsterss can be very unsure of themselves,intimidated etc. & that must be forgiven.

[Ricky Spanish]

Weather Politics. Pleaser's. 'Honesty'.. All of which made me grin...

[Robbie]

Expand please Ricky.

[Ricky Spanish]

What are the politics of weather Rob?

Where can we find "Pleaser's"?

Why was honesty in diacritical marks?

[Robbie]

Weather politics - talking about weather is less controversial than politics. People pleasers will often smile and divert conversations that are controversial because they don't want anyone to be offended or to be too serious.

'Honesty' - I didn't notice the single inverted commas until you pointed them out but presume the idea was to highlight the word.

Pleaser's - greengrocers' stuff, just a mistake.

The post was quite understandable, at least floo, Trent and I found it so.

Methinks you are nit picking Ricky!

[Ricky Spanish]

Really. "Weather politics or religion even every subject under the sun there is always people pleaser's." makes ABSOLUTELY no fuckin' sense in any language.

If you indicate different articulations of something you claim then you are indicating they are incorrect, hence why put 'honesty' in diacritical?

Are you claiming Floo and Trent are your equivalents?

[Robbie]

NO floo and Trent are vastly superior to me, OK? 

I don't understand why you are picking holes in a reasonable post just because of some poor grammar!

I'm not getting into this any more Ricky. Hopefully someone else will bring the thread back on topic.

[Aruntraveller]

NO floo and Trent are vastly superior to me, OK? 

Can't speak for floo, and modesty prevents me from commenting further on that particular statement.

However going back to Sass's original post I just found the two categories she identified, namely people pleasers and manipulators as somewhat jarring - I think I know what she means but a little clarification would be good.

Usually there is a kernel of an idea lurking in the verbiage of her posts.

[Rhiannon]

People pleasing is a psychological problem. It's something that can lead to depression and anxiety.

I think I get what Sass means though. She seems to be referring to not following the crowd or trying to get in with people, sticking to principles rather than sucking up.

[Robbie]

That's how I read it.

[Sassy]

The error in spelling was due to forgetting to correct it when I first wrote it.
Never done that particular error before I know both spellings and know the difference.
Often very tired from being up through the night. Been in pain lately and not sleeping very well.
Not had a break from caring for my daughter since November last year haggling over the charges they want to make for her hours spent with CP worker which gives me a break. Four of my siblings are  having serious health issues.
Stretching myself between Wales, Manchester and my own daughter.  My friends kidneys are failing so back and forward to the hospital.
My own health problems are impacted. Torn cartilage and ligament in left knee does not help or swelling in my right hip which I am seeing a surgeon for in a couple of weeks. I am apologising before hand, if I answer your post with the wrong name or even wrong spellings or words missing from the post.

I am just sooooo tired... and over stretched at present... x

[Sassy]

I think there is a difference between people pleasers and manipulators.

If it is within your power to please people in some way why would you not do that? In fact I would say that in my work it is one of the things that helps get things done.

Manipulation as practiced by politicians and others is another matter.

I note today the Daily Mail praising May's promise of some kind of cap on fuel prices. Odd then that a very similar policy by Ed Milliband at the last election was derided by the self same newspaper as a return of the loony left or some such tommy rot. That is manipulation of voters minds, and should always be resisted.

Mind you as a rule of thumb you can usually expect every article written in the Mail to indulge in some level of manipulation/hypocrisy.

I know people manipulate others too.
But I feel young people often get swept up into doing what makes them popular and not what is right for them.
The parties pay big books for people to run their campaign in  a way that reaches the people they want to vote for them.
The conflict is not always easy to read who is genuine. Truth is all parties want to win as whatever cost. That is just politics.

[Sassy]

I think trying to do what is right, and if by doing so you help others  that is good. I would never do anything just to make me popular, or would I be swept along by the crowd.

I think the pharisees were people pleasers. Doing what looked good to others and feeling proud about themselves in the process.

[Sassy]

I think peer pressure can be placed on young people to make them conform. Lately, I have seen the manipulation in programs too.
They are making youngsters aware of the cost of being taken in by manipulative people and the dangers that youngsters face who are not self confident enough to understand what is happening to them.