This is taking the need for 'parental consent' too far

[Rhiannon]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/11/devastated-by-my-sons-tattoo

Sorry but I find this utterly bonkers.

[Shaker]

I've seen that before.

Daft baggage 

[Rhiannon]

It is appearing on the Graun site again today. Since when did parents own their kids?

Ffs.

[Shaker]

It is appearing on the Graun site again today. Since when did parents own their kids?

Ffs.

Since the exit from the uterus up to the point where they can say "Yes please" or "No thanks." Prior to that you can do what the fuck you like to them, according to some here.

[Nearly Sane]

I think there are deeper issues than the tattoo in that relationship.

[floo]

Whilst I wouldn't be too thrilled if any of mine had got a tattoo, it is entirely their choice once they are adults.

[Rhiannon]

I think there are deeper issues than the tattoo in that relationship.

Tell me about it.

[wigginhall]

I think there are deeper issues than the tattoo in that relationship.

Yes, I think she was getting warm about apron-strings.   I am guessing that in part it's an act of separation from mum and dad, and of course, some mums and dads find that devastating.   It might be something else of course that is a symbol, coming home pissed, wearing strange clothes,  finding an unsuitable girl-friend, taking drugs, blimey, this is turning into an autobiography.   

[Robbie]

Whilst I wouldn't be too thrilled if any of mine had got a tattoo, it is entirely their choice once they are adults.

That's how i feel too.

She was just expressing her feelings but knows her son is adult and can do as he pleases. Many would share her feelings, I'd hate it but it wouldn't be my business and we'd move on. As long as my child didn't come to me for the money to have it removed  (tho' knowing me i'd cough up).

[floo]

I never had a problem with our girls leaving home, which they did as soon as they went uni. Apart from popping home for a short time during the hols, they never lived at home again, which was fine by us that is what kids should do, imo. One of  my sibling's sons, who are in their 30s, move out for a while then come back to live at home again, even though they have good, well paid occupations. That would drive me crazy.

[Robbie]

Yes, that guy is 21 but some do seem to live at home longer now because of the cost of accommodation & students who are within easy travelling distance of their uni (my nephew lives in our basement flat).

They can still get tattoos whether they live with parents or not! I'm glad my two haven't gone down that route but couldn't do anything about it if they did  - best not think about it.

[wigginhall]

People vary a lot in their reactions to children separating.   This woman is certainly hanging on for grim death, but then that itself probably has roots in her childhood and adolescence, and other stuff.    She sounds very angry, ah well. 

[Robbie]

She seemed to get over her anger and then accept. After anger - acceptance.

He was only 21 and if still living with parents it's different to a grown-up child living inependently.

I've not been in her position but woulndn;t judge her harshly.She did get there in the end and has a sensible husband.  Seriously, who wants their kids to have tattoos?

Or pirecings? Though some do have their little girls' ears pierced in infancy,some of which is cultural and others just plain chavvy. T.he babes have no choice in it. Most i know had girls whose ears were pierced when they went to 'big' school after passing 11+ but I've seen tiny ones with such piercings.

At least you can take the earring out and eventually there will be no sign. A tattoo is more difficult!

[floo]

She seemed to get over her anger and then accept. After anger - acceptance.

He was only 21 and if still living with parents it's different to a grown-up child living inependently.

I've not been in her position but woulndn;t judge her harshly.She did get there in the end and has a sensible husband.  Seriously, who wants their kids to have tattoos?

Or pirecings? Though some do have their little girls' ears pierced in infancy,some of which is cultural and others just plain chavvy. T.he babes have no choice in it. Most i know had girls whose ears were pierced when they went to 'big' school after passing 11+ but I've seen tiny ones with such piercings.

At least you can take the earring out and eventually there will be no sign. A tattoo is more difficult!

Actually if you have a ear piercing it is there for life. Our eldest was permitted to have her ears pierced when she was 15, but later regretted doing so, she is now 47 and it is quite clear she has had them done.

[Rhiannon]

She seemed to get over her anger and then accept. After anger - acceptance.

He was only 21 and if still living with parents it's different to a grown-up child living inependently.

I've not been in her position but woulndn;t judge her harshly.She did get there in the end and has a sensible husband.  Seriously, who wants their kids to have tattoos?

Or pirecings? Though some do have their little girls' ears pierced in infancy,some of which is cultural and others just plain chavvy. T.he babes have no choice in it. Most i know had girls whose ears were pierced when they went to 'big' school after passing 11+ but I've seen tiny ones with such piercings.

At least you can take the earring out and eventually there will be no sign. A tattoo is more difficult!

Hardly, unless you mean 'grieving' for 'being redundant' because of a tattoo is 'acceptance'. Only 21? I was married with a mortgage at that age. And living with parents is no reason for him not to have autonomy over his own body.

I'd love for my kids to have tattoos, or not, dye their hair, or not, get dreads, or not. One of my kids has her ears pierced, the others don't, and wont until they ask for it to be done. If my eldest wanted to get her nose or cartilage pierced I'd go with her tomorrow - she's old enough to choose.

Self expression is a beautiful thing and I love the way that young people embrace it to the full.

[floo]

I had a husband, 6 month old daughter and mortgage by the time I was 21, in 1971. I was living in the UK a couple of hundred miles away from anyone we knew. I certainly had to grow up very quickly indeed.

[Rhiannon]

21 year olds very often do stupid things. Being honest here, the mistake of getting a tattoo of a seahorse is preferable to the mistake of marrying a complete dick.

[Nearly Sane]

Or even getting a tattoo of a complete dick

[Rhiannon]

Or even getting a tattoo of a complete dick

There's probably a few of those around. Perhaps they could be changed into a cactus or something once regretted.

[Nearly Sane]

'Wino forever'!

[Robbie]

We can all come up with, "We did .... at 21", but an awful lot of people don't and anyway what we did at 21 isn't relevant to anyone else.
I too would prefer a tattoo to marrying a dickhead but why do either???There are surely more wholesome ways of expressing ourselves.


I just have a little sympathy for the mother in the link - that's all. Not been in that position thank goodness but honestly don't know any parent who would be happy about it - whether they, in their time, had a mortgage and children at 21 or not(presumably if they were a student they wouldn't have been tied down with a mortgage)., which is hardly relevant

Still I support the right of any adult to choose. All a matter of taste.

[Rhiannon]

Tattoos are unwholesome? Seriously? Have we gone back to the 1950's?

The worst thing about what the woman says in the article is how her son's choices were all about her. And the 'grieving' process of motherhood begins the moment your newborn becomes a chubby faced infant and it never stops. By the time they are 21 you should be used to it.

[floo]

We can all come up with, "We did .... at 21", but an awful lot of people don't and anyway what we did at 21 isn't relevant to anyone else.
I too would prefer a tattoo to marrying a dickhead but why do either???There are surely more wholesome ways of expressing ourselves.


I just have a little sympathy for the mother in the link - that's all. Not been in that position thank goodness but honestly don't know any parent who would be happy about it - whether they, in their time, had a mortgage and children at 21 or not(presumably if they were a student they wouldn't have been tied down with a mortgage)., which is hardly relevant

Still I support the right of any adult to choose. All a matter of taste.

I think tattoos are ghastly, especially if they are on the face or covering the arms.

[Robbie]

Oh alright then Rhiannon, i obviously can't get my point or what I feel across,no matter.
I still say most parents wouldn\t like their adult children to be tattooed even if they don't put their misgivings in print
- and what all that business about we did at 21 was, has nowt to do with anything. It's a different era, rents higher, student loans etc. We were different in our day. Still nothing to do with tattoos.

I'll leave this discussion to others.

(Saw your post floo,quite agree but thankfully don't know anyone personally who has them. See them on TV of course.)

[Rhiannon]

Tattoo sleeves can be gorgeous. A big regret for me is that a chemical allergy means I can't get a tattoo myself, although at my age I'd need to choose where to put it wisely.