Sexual Abuse and Prominent People

[Rhiannon]

She was prejudging, I thought we went through all that yesterday. Then she did a complete about face (making an arse of herself). Better she had said nothing!

The point here is that no-one should prejudge. All the facts are not yet known & a suspect is innocent until proven guilty. Lets leave it now for the law to sort out, that's their job.

We did. Not Humph and HH apparently.

[Robbie]

I can't see that from what I've read, they appear to be trying to encourage impartiality (despite being accused of supporting the accused), but so be it.

(I'd never heard of Dunham before yesterday & then looked her up. Don't know why she got involved and I bet she wishes she hadn't.)

[Rhiannon]

I can't see that from what I've read, they appear to be trying to encourage impartiality (despite being accused of supporting the accused), but so be it.

(I'd never heard of Dunham before yesterday & then looked her up. Don't know why she got involved and I bet she wishes she hadn't.)

The bloke is one of her circle and works on her show. She claimed 'insider knowledge'.

Breitbart describe her as a 'rape truther'.

[Rhiannon]

Actually having to accept that someone we know is an abuser - sexual, domestic, whatever - is so hard. 'But I would have known...' you get it from community members, teachers, doctors, as well as friends and even family.

So who gets blamed for exposing it, shattering illusions, making someone doubt their judgement, professional or personal?

The victims.

[Robbie]

If we know someone quite well, or think we do, and like them, we're bound to be biased. The law has to be unbiased so everyone is treated fairly.  Let's hope it all works.

[floo]

Apparently refuges have been set up for men who are victims of domestic abuse.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-east-wales-42045801

[Rhiannon]

Why does this shock you? I know two men who were regularly assaulted by ex partners and several who have been on the receiving end of psychological abuse.

[floo]

Why does this shock you? I know two men who were regularly assaulted by ex partners and several who have been on the receiving end of psychological abuse.

I have never come across a man who has been the victim of domestic violence.

[Aruntraveller]

I have never come across a man who has been the victim of domestic violence.

A friend of mine was. His wife used a carving knife on him. He has the scars. He left.

[Nearly Sane]

I have never come across a man who has been the victim of domestic violence.

As I have covered elsewhere on this board, my ex on occasion hit me. It wasn't threatening in a physical sense. It was deeply humiliating and shocking. I could have stopped it but when you are as large as I am any physical 'reaction' has its own problems - grabbing her arm would hurt her physically far harder than anything she would manage. I don't believe in violence of any kind and I'm sure that many people feel it difficult to defend themselves in such circumstances.

[Humph Warden Bennett]

I have never come across a man who has been the victim of domestic violence.

I have. Usually it was things being thrown at me, but sometimes it was fists.

[Robbie]

Apparently refuges have been set up for men who are victims of domestic abuse.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-east-wales-42045801

About time too! The last four posts alone illustrate what a problem domestic abuse against men is - and I don't believe you've never come across any man who was such a victim, you undoubtedly have but they aren't likely to tell you.

[Rhiannon]

About time too! The last four posts alone illustrate what a problem domestic abuse against men is - and I don't believe you've never come across any man who was such a victim, you undoubtedly have but they aren't likely to tell you.

And psychological. controlling abuse is hard enough for people to spot when the victim is female - there are no bruises. When it is a man, people just don't seem to think it can happen. Including the victims sometimes.

[Rhiannon]

As I have covered elsewhere on this board, my ex on occasion hit me. It wasn't threatening in a physical sense. It was deeply humiliating and shocking. I could have stopped it but when you are as large as I am any physical 'reaction' has its own problems - grabbing her arm would hurt her physically far harder than anything she would manage. I don't believe in violence of any kind and I'm sure that many people feel it difficult to defend themselves in such circumstances.

Both men I know were plenty big enough to stop it physically. There was the knowledge that they could hurt their partners more - and also simply not wanting to hurt someone that they loved.

[Nearly Sane]

Both men I know were plenty big enough to stop it physically. There was the knowledge that they could hurt their partners more - and also simply not wanting to hurt someone that they loved.

Yes, it's not the stopping of it, it's the fact that that seems worse. So you ignore the hitting. Note as I have already covered it wasn't frequent but I couldn't see a way to stop it.

[floo]

About time too! The last four posts alone illustrate what a problem domestic abuse against men is - and I don't believe you've never come across any man who was such a victim, you undoubtedly have but they aren't likely to tell you.

All the men I know personally would be highly unlikely to be victims of domestic violence.

[Rhiannon]

All the men I know personally would be highly unlikely to be victims of domestic violence.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous. You have no clue what goes on behind closed doors, to men as well as women.

[floo]

Don't be so bloody ridiculous. You have no clue what goes on behind closed doors, to men as well as women.

I am not being ridiculous, I was taking about the men I know personally, not mere acquaintances.

[Maeght]

All the men I know personally would be highly unlikely to be victims of domestic violence.

What sort of man do you think would be most likely to be a victim then Floo?

[Rhiannon]

Yes, it's not the stopping of it, it's the fact that that seems worse. So you ignore the hitting. Note as I have already covered it wasn't frequent but I couldn't see a way to stop it.

Yes that makes perfect sense. I think it works like that for a lot of women too in the sense that stopping it can also have horrible consequences.

I'm sorry, NS. It's grim.

[Rhiannon]

I am not being ridiculous, I was taking about the men I know personally, not mere acquaintances.

You have no clue.

[floo]

You have no clue.

You don't know me, or the men I know well, so don't make statements you can't substantiate.

[Maeght]

You don't know me, or the men I know well, so don't make statements you can't substantiate.

Your post suggested that those men are not the type to be victims of abuse. Is that what you meant or were you saying that you don,'t know any men who you know are victims or what?

[Walter]

You have no clue.

I think that sums up Floo in general , based on what she puts on here . Glad it wasn't me who said it .

[Rhiannon]

You don't know me, or the men I know well, so don't make statements you can't substantiate.

Most people don't know when women are victims - even their own families a lot of the time, especially when it is coercive or psychological. It's even more so the case where the victim is male - when you started posting in this you seemed to be in disbelief that domestic violence against men even existed.

I'm not saying that men you know are victims, only that you can't be sure that none of the men that you know aren't, or haven't been in the past.