It doesn't happen here...

[Shaker]

Surely though what being an 'inappropriate arsehole' is what people define in so many different ways, that having it as some sort of principle is meaningless?

Absolutely - exactly what I said over on the Ted Heath thread: http://tinyurl.com/y6wtymc9

The law can try to define sexual harassment till the cows come home but it'll never cover every possible scenario - which ultimately means every possible person and their threshold for what they think is or isn't sexual harassment.

[Nearly Sane]

Absolutely - exactly what I said over on the Ted Heath thread: http://tinyurl.com/y6wtymc9

The law can try to define sexual harassment till the cows come home but it'll never cover every possible scenario - which ultimately means every possible person and their threshold for what they think is or isn't sexual harassment.

Which is why I would never claim to have clean hands or conscience, because I may well not be judging the effect of my actions without confirmation bias. And apoligies, that sounds much more like point scoring than I want to but I am just trying to make the point that we, as  individuals, have to be wary of thinking that we are doing everything that we can.

[Nearly Sane]

I found it difficult as a mod not to leave myself open to accusations of pushing my own agenda of some kind of prudish feminism. So I didn't act on the sexist jokes made here, some which I felt disgusted by.

This relates back to the issue we have wrestled with before about whether there is a line where people can be more offensive about groups than individual members, and whether that is just as bad. I think we are much more likely to stop obviously racist comments than sexist ones but I may be wrong.

[Shaker]

Which is why I would never claim to have clean hands or conscience, because I may well not be judging the effect of my actions without confirmation bias.

Unfortunately that only leads you down the infinite rabbit hole of being able to say to someone who believes they're without confirmation bias: well, that's exactly what somebody with confirmation bias would say, isn't it - MRDA (Mandy Rice Davies applies).

Joseph Heller made himself a fortune with a novel about this.

[Shaker]

I concede that this may be thought to be picking a too obvious example by far (the D**** M***, home of the infamous 'sidebar of shame') but while searching online for something completely innocuous (Penny Dreadful, actually) I turned up an article about one of the show's (female) stars - Eva Green - and featured on the same page were the following links:

Lauren Silverman puts on a busty display in a strapless dress as she supports honoree Simon Cowell at Music Industry Trusts Award ceremony

Jennifer Lawrence oozes sex appeal in racy thigh-boots for dinner with Liam Hemsworth ahead of The Hunger Games Mockingjay: Part 2 world premiere in Berlin

I probably don't need to say that the main article concentrated on the above-mentioned actress's clothing and hair.

[Nearly Sane]

Ffs!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41606854

[Walter]

Ffs!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41606854

she's been allocated as  part of my recovery program ,can't wait for my home visit  😱😆

[Nearly Sane]

she's been allocated as  part of my recovery program ,can't wait for my home visit  😱😆

I know that you mean this in a jokey fashion but there is an issue that this is part of the whole problem where women, and men, are assaulted and meant to laugh it off.


https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/10/16/me-too-alyssa-milano-urged-assault-victims-to-tweet-in-solidarity-the-response-was-massive/

[Walter]

I know that you mean this in a jokey fashion but there is an issue that this is part of the whole problem where women, and men, are assaulted and meant to laugh it off.


https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/10/16/me-too-alyssa-milano-urged-assault-victims-to-tweet-in-solidarity-the-response-was-massive/

yes it was meant as a joke when I saw the image

My daughter who lives and works in a global company has finally managed to bring a case against her line manager who was causing her considerable distress to the extent I was prepared to visit her place of work and sort it out for good
As part of the resolution he has been moved to another department for now
My son in law has also had to curb his actions ! 

[Walter]

She lives in Australia where such things are rife btw

[Nearly Sane]

yes it was meant as a joke when I saw the image

My daughter who lives and works in a global company has finally managed to bring a case against her line manager who was causing her considerable distress to the extent I was prepared to visit her place of work and sort it out for good
As part of the resolution he has been moved to another department for now
My son in law has also had to curb his actions !

But surely you see that treating 'psycho nympho' as a jcase your daughtsr oke could also make women reading that uncomfortable? I think sometimes people hide behind the saw 'offence is taken, not given' to avoid that in many cases it's not a matter of offence but that that have said something quite creepy and knew they were doing it.

I hope that the case that your daughter has raised gets to a satisfactory conclusion.

[Walter]

But surely you see that treating 'psycho nympho' as a jcase your daughtsr oke could also make women reading that uncomfortable? I think sometimes people hide behind the saw 'offence is taken, not given' to avoid that in many cases it's not a matter of offence but that that have said something quite creepy and knew they were doing it.

I hope that the case that your daughter has raised gets to a satisfactory conclusion.

i think I got the gist of that NS
In my daughters case she was frequently sent moving cartoon images of an ejaculating penis
If he had sent hem to me I would have ripped his off
Her husband is a fitness instructor and was asked to not get involved for his own protection

[floo]

i think I got the gist of that NS
In my daughters case she was frequently sent moving cartoon images of an ejaculating penis
If he had sent hem to me I would have ripped his off
Her husband is a fitness instructor and was asked to not get involved for his own protection

Violence would make you as bad as that creep.

[Nearly Sane]

i think I got the gist of that NS
In my daughters case she was frequently sent moving cartoon images of an ejaculating penis
If he had sent hem to me I would have ripped his off
Her husband is a fitness instructor and was asked to not get involved for his own protection

That's horrendous.

And I know that my first inclination should anyone have done something similar to my wife would be the same as yours. And yet the whole violent reaction seems a almost proprietorial, and more about making you or I feel good.  But it's the times when I have let comments go from blokes in groups I have been in that I worry about are part of the whole 'it's just banter' approach that can make people feel threatened.

[Walter]

Violence would make you as bad as that creep.

no Floo , it would not . Your judgement on this matter is seriously flawed

[floo]

no Floo , it would not . Your judgement on this matter is seriously flawed

So you think it ok to beat someone up do you?

[Walter]

So you think it ok to beat someone up do you?

do not use that tone with me . Your question is invalid !

[floo]

do not use that tone with me . Your question is invalid !

No it isn't? You said you would rip off the pervert's penis, so how does that make you better than him?

[Walter]

That's horrendous.

And I know that my first inclination should anyone have done something similar to my wife would be the same as yours. And yet the whole violent reaction seems a almost proprietorial, and more about making you or I feel good.  But it's the times when I have let comments go from blokes in groups I have been in that I worry about are part of the whole 'it's just banter' approach that can make people feel threatened.

i tend to agree with you however some courses of action archive good results

[Walter]

No it isn't? You said you would rip off the pervert's penis, so how does that make you better than him?

why do you keep introducing moral compitition into this?
Also I couldn't care less what you think of my reaction ,so no point asking me to justify it

[Nearly Sane]

i tend to agree with you however some courses of action archive good results

i don't think adding violence to sexual harassment is one of those courses. And again I am more interested here in why you seem to  think that banter, like uour earlier comment,  that objectifies women isn't contributing to the culture in which people have thought the sort of sexual harassment your daughter suffered is acceptable.

[floo]

why do you keep introducing moral compitition into this?
Also I couldn't care less what you think of my reaction ,so no point asking me to justify it

Tell yourself that when you are serving a prison term if you carried out your threat. Two wrongs don't make a right, as the saying goes.

[Walter]

i don't think adding violence to sexual harassment is one of those courses. And again I am more interested here in why you seem to  think that banter, like uour earlier comment,  that objectifies women isn't contributing to the culture in which people have thought the sort of sexual harassment your daughter suffered is acceptable.

sorry I have misunderstood , we are in total agreement on this 👍

[Nearly Sane]

sorry I have misunderstood , we are in total agreement on this 👍

So you agree that your earlier comment was inappropriate?

[Walter]

Tell yourself that when you are serving a prison term if you carried out your threat. Two wrongs don't make a right, as the saying goes.

and once again you give me the opportunity to say , you have  a very high opinion of yourself don't you !