Smacking to be banned in Scotland

[The Accountant, OBE, KC]

flounces off!

Haha - no - there was nothing to engage with or discuss. But thanks for the attention - please do a similar fanfare each time I log on (flounces on) and log off (flounces off).

I'll let you know if I want the fanfare changed. Good boy.

[Robbie]

I don't think it is traumatic or if we are describing it as traumatic, then clearly trauma means something trivial. I think the only trauma you feel is the shock at the realisation that someone is stopping you from doing what you want because you don't like the consequences when you do it.

When you fall over there is blood or marked skin - not the same as being hit. But yes, there isn't the frustration that someone else is physically stopping you from doing what you want to do. When I physically restrained my daughter from getting up, age 2, she cried loudly in sheer frustration. That worked very well as a punishment, if I had time to physically restrain her, but it did take 9 months of naughty step or physical restraint for the message to sink into her head that if I threatened it, I would follow through.

When I slapped her hand age 2 something, there was some tears but when I told her if she did it again she would get another slap she held her other hand up defiantly for a slap. I slapped it and she put it behind her back and held her first hand up for a slap, I slapped that hand, she put it behind her back and held her other hand up for a slap. I slapped it but as I had no intention of hitting her harder or indefinitely I then tried something else as a punishment, but I remember being impressed with her defiance - that was the first time I had slapped her.

But despite this show of defiance, when threatened with a slap on another occasion, she complied - so clearly she didn't like it and decided whatever she wanted to do wasn't worth getting a slap for. So it works.

What on earth are you doing slapping the hand of a two year old, who is not much more than a baby? 
Your post 88 is also very revealing - and surprising from you, from the little we know of you on this forum.  I certainly never expected to read it.

(Owl, I will come back to you later, Busy now.)

[The Accountant, OBE, KC]

What on earth are you doing slapping the hand of a two year old, who is not much more than a baby? 
Your post 88 is also very revealing - and surprising from you, from the little we know of you on this forum.  I certainly never expected to read it.

(Owl, I will come back to you later, Busy now.)

Would you have been any less outraged if she was 3 or 4 or 5 or 6?

My posts are intended to be revealing.

She was 2 something and definitely no baby. Could have been 3 - it's hard to remember. Anyway she remembers the incident and finds it funny now, age 13 - she is impressed with her defiance.

She also remembers being put on the naughty step for a minute and a half when she was 2 and me sitting next to her and how she would lounge across my lap for the first minute or so smirking, saying "good I feel like a rest" and then when I didn't react she would get upset about the punishment for the last 20 seconds, just when I was ready to give up and was wondering which one of us was going to end up in charge in this relationship.

She used to say a lot of stuff that was hard not to laugh at - she was speaking full sentences by the time she was 2. I like my kids most of the time - they are fun to talk to, witty/ sarcastic, can cope with banter, don't need mollycoddling...apart from spiders and the dark sometimes, but I'm working on that. 

I'm not on here to seek approval - it's fine if you don't like my views. I don't like some of the values in the cultures my kids are exposed to.

[Walter]

Gabriella

Which cultures are they ?

[Owlswing]

We are doomed mate   

That prospect does not exactly cause me any problems whatsoever as, so far as I am aware, you are no mate of mine.

At least we are trying to do something about the situation which, whatever it might be, seems to be a bloody sight more that you can say for yourself.

Sniping from the sidelines seems to be more your style.

The local Safer Neighbourhood Teams are working to try and alleviate the problems caused by the kids around here who consider that the inability of their parents to discipline/punish them for thier behaviour extends to the rest of the world and to criminal activity especially as they are quite adept at using the threat of and the infliction of violence to deter anyone from reporting their activities or identifying them to the Police.

It is working - a few weeks ago two of the nastiest of our local thuigs were sent down for four and five years each for a series of crimes. They were rather unpleasantly surprised when they realised that, as some of the charges referred to crimes committed as eighteen year olds they were going to a adult prison.

They are also now looking at more time for threats to kill against the judge, the prosecuting barrister and their own legal team for failing to get them off!

It's not a lot but it is a start. 

[Walter]

That prospect does not exactly cause me any problems whatsoever as, so far as I am aware, you are no mate of mine.

At least we are trying to do something about the situation which, whatever it might be, seems to be a bloody sight more that you can say for yourself.

Sniping from the sidelines seems to be more your style.

The local Safer Neighbourhood Teams are working to try and alleviate the problems caused by the kids around here who consider that the inability of their parents to discipline/punish them for thier behaviour extends to the rest of the world and to criminal activity especially as they are quite adept at using the threat of and the infliction of violence to deter anyone from reporting their activities or identifying them to the Police.

It is working - a few weeks ago two of the nastiest of our local thuigs were sent down for four and five years each for a series of crimes. They were rather unpleasantly surprised when they realised that, as some of the charges referred to crimes committed as eighteen year olds they were going to a adult prison.

They are also now looking at more time for threats to kill against the judge, the prosecuting barrister and their own legal team for failing to get them off!

It's not a lot but it is a start.

the first three paragraphs ; I have no idea what youre
On about

[Owlswing]

the first three paragraphs ; I have no idea what youre

On about

Which says far more about you than it does me!

[Owlswing]

Walter  #105

. . .  and it should be -


The first three paragraphs; I have no idea what you're on about.

[Owlswing]

Walter  #105

. . .  and it should be -


The first three paragraphs; I have no idea what you're on about.

Sorry NS - I borrowed your pedant cap for a few moments without asking your permission!

[Walter]

Walter  #105

. . .  and it should be -


The first three paragraphs; I have no idea what you're on about.

holdin and typing on an iPhone with one hand whilst laying on your side being injected with pain relief does not lend it's self to full concentration

I still don't know what you're on about though .

[Robbie]

My view is that if kids experience violence in their home they will grow up thinking violence is acceptable.

[Nearly Sane]

Sorry NS - I borrowed your pedant cap for a few moments without asking your permission!

If you are going to borrow it, be accurate, I don't comment on grammar.

[Harrowby Hall]

holdin and typing on an iPhone with one hand whilst laying on your side being injected with pain relief does not lend it's self to full concentration

Pedantry is fun.

Using one hand to simultaneously hold and type on an iPhone, whilst being injected with pain relief, does not lend itself to full concentration.

[Enki]

Pedantry is fun.

Using one hand to simultaneously hold and type on an iPhone, whilst being injected with pain relief, does not lend itself to full concentration.

It is fun. I suppose the jury's out on split infinitives.

[The Accountant, OBE, KC]

Gabriella

Which cultures are they ?

All of them. There are bits I don't like in all the cultures my kids are exposed to.

[The Accountant, OBE, KC]

My view is that if kids experience violence in their home they will grow up thinking violence is acceptable.

I think violence is acceptable in certain situations. If the need arose, I would hope my kids would be violent. That's one of the reasons they learned kick-boxing - so they stood more of a chance of their violence being effective rather than ineffective.

[Harrowby Hall]

It is fun. I suppose the jury's out on split infinitives.

Where split infinitives are concerned ... to boldly go ...

[Robbie]

I think violence is acceptable in certain situations. If the need arose, I would hope my kids would be violent. That's one of the reasons they learned kick-boxing - so they stood more of a chance of their violence being effective rather than ineffective.

Self defence is OK.  If someone attacked me I'd bash them with my handbag!

Owlswing, I was thinking over what you were saying about menacing schoolchildren.  I experienced that some years ago, on two occasions, on neither of which did I have my car.  Once I picked up my cousin's boy from school, he was about seven, and we walked around the corner to the 'bus stop. A lot of older boys from his school also arrived en masse at the 'bus stop and when the 'bus came along they surged towards it, regardless of people who had been waiting there before them, and pushed their way onto it.  One or two of the people waiting there said it happened like that regularly. They had absolutely no consideration.

Anyway I heard the headteacher received complaints and actually came out to spy, lurking in a shop doorway, then he blasted them in assembly.  Quite right too.   

The other time I had been to see someone in hospital and went by 'bus because of difficulty parking.  On the way home the bus stopped opposite a school and a lot of kids got on.  A bit further along it stopped outside  a girls' school (locally known as St Trinians),  quite a few girls boarded the bus and proceeded to attack the kids from the other school with water bombs and eggs!   The bus was a mess, even the driver was egged.  He stopped the bus and said he was fed up with it happening nearly every day!  It was quite shocking.  I don't know what happened after that - the school is different now, amalgamated with another school and has a lot of Chinese boarders who are very well behaved.

I think teachers, especially department heads and head teachers, as well as parents, should be proactive in ensuring better behaviour.  Sometimes kids get carried away in a crowd, they just don't think, don't realise how intimidating they can be.

[Sassy]

My daughter was unable to understand right from wrong. Unable to recognise danger she could easily reach out for a coal in the fire. The specialist in her life said when she was older we would have to slap her on her hand if she went to do anything which could harm her. It was not the danger which would eventually sink in but the knowledge of pain when she attempted such an action and it would deter it. We did not have coal fires thank God.

There is smacking and their is deterrents.