Perhaps it is that I don't see it as some sop to make me feel better about tragedy.
Nor do I - far from it.
I think singling out the dead as somehow different because some stranger stood on a road as their coffin past by as not really that important in terms of their actions or suffering. I think the compartmentalizing in this way is indulgent and a bit creepy. It allows people to mouth the pabulum of 'never again' while voting in and supporting govts that piss upon that.
But the whole notion is already compartmentalising - remembrance events are effectively always about service personnel deaths, and even then just 'our' service personnel deaths.
I am really not interested in your tit for tat arguments - I think I have made my view pretty clear - for me Remembrance Day is about remembering the mass slaughter of the world wars - and in doing so I try to remember all those that died - service and civilian, British and non British (including the countless 'enemy' death, who just like our troops were simply doing what they were told). I try also to reflect on the horror and waste of that carnage and to use that to shy away from any kind of celebratory or jingostic approach.
It leads me to reflect on the fact that we must be very careful about committing to war, and actually to reflect too that in our new mechanised age the deaths from war tend to be disproportionately civilian and rarely 'our' personnel, which is again very different from previous wars. And that the fact that British service personnel may now be pretty unlikely to be killed in conflict should not make us think war is more acceptable as there are likely to still be countless victims who aren't our troops.
To me the world wars are different - due to the scale of the carnage and until another war comes along to match them (I hope it never does) then they will always be different in my mind.