Walter,
doubles up as a carpark attendant at weekends
Can you imagine Vlad the car park attendant?
VtCPA: “So, you think parking sideways across two spaces is correct do you?”
Me: “Er, that’s not what I did at all. Look, here’s a CCTV image that shows I was exactly between the lines.”
VtCPA: “Mere turd polishing. Now then, you do realise that using the half hour free option is a philosophical statement don’t you?
How do you defend that then smartarse?”
Me: “Um, it’s no such thing. I was just nipping to the corner shop for a box of liquorice allsorts. Where’s the philosophy in that?”
VtCPA: “Pah! I used to think they were allsorts too before I gained my detailed knowledge of confectionary manufacture. They’re actually treats made of scotch mist and unicorn tears you schmuck…”
Me: “So how does your detailed knowledge of confectionary tell you that exactly?”
VtCAP: Silence
Me: "Hello?"
VtCPA: "Category f***!"
etc