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'Even if we are born healthy and into a relatively stable environment, even if all our basic needs are met, we still face difficulties. We seek health and vitality, friends and mates, pleasure and happiness. Our desires appear unlimited. And presuming that we fulfill these desires, we still face pressing philosophical concerns: What is real? What can we know? What should we do? What can we hope for? And, most importantly, what is the meaning of life in a world that contains so much suffering and death? This is the central philosophical question of human life. Fortune may shine upon us but we ultimately suffer and perish, raising the question of the point of it all. If all our hopes, plans, longings, and loves ultimately vanish, then what does it all mean? Our question is not just academic; it penetrates to the core of the human existence.'https://reasonandmeaning.com/2017/11/19/the-problem-of-life/
This is the age old problem that religion and spirituality have sought to solve. We have two parts. One is the lower part that faces all the issues that you outline above. The second is the higher part which shows us the way to eternity and freedom from suffering. Many people living with the lower nature itself manage to be so ego centric that they remain defiantly insulated from such issues and problems. Others strive towards the second and manage to live a life of faith, hope, knowledge and joy.
Most religions offer fantasy beliefs calculated to soothe the mind; buddhism being the main exception where, instead of escapism, the emphasis is on reconciling oneself to reality, to suffering, to mortality.
My experience of depression is that it is because you know there is so much meaning in the moment (laughing with friends, a walk in the rain, hugging your kids) and you can't meet the moment so you are aware of life slipping through your fingers. It has never had anything to do with the 'big ideas'.
Perhaps depression is more complex than one thing? Even if it is different for different people? Though I do recognise the idea of slipping through the fingers, it depends on the me at the time and which of what rationalisms or irrationalisms that me is feeling at the time. The OP is only relating when that me is being terribly grand and intense. Sometimes depression is tiny and vague.
Like being in a glass jar, the world goes on outside it but you can't reach it. Yet it's safe in a way. Big grey cloud overhead, utter exhaustion.
I always think of this Joseph Campbell quote when I read stuff like the OP.‘Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.’Something about the external search for meaning seems to me to be a way of avoiding taking responsibility for one’s own life.